The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 23 Quotes
Lisa: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal.
Marge: Not since they passed Homer's Law.
I just like to dress up to eat carrots and smoke.
Homer
Homer: How would you like to have future sex?
Marge: Why do you say future this is now?
Homer: I meant a week from tomorrow. That's when the new penis gets here.
You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia law.
Lisa
Who cares what we look like in whatever stupid year this is.
Bart
I'm Santa!? Oh, now I'll never die.
Grampa
They were kids, and we gave them candy if they laughed! And if they didn't, until the 70s, I hit them with a stick! Some jerk tracked down the kids and made a documentary. It's called "Circus of Shame" or something.
Krusty
Annie: I was so mad at him, I didn't have sex with a clown for five months!
Homer: What about mimes?
Annie: Come on, I'm not made of stone.
They took my dressing room, my parking space, even my writer, so I don't have a funny third item.
Krusty
No more TV! We're going to get some fresh air and visit a museum. Of television!
Marge
People also lover a quitter. Sarah Palin. The Beatles.
Bart
If you ever hear a star's name and wonder, is he dead? The answer is either "I represent him" or "yes."
Annie Dubinksy