The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Homer: Finally, a supermarket with a clear premise - island something. Bart: It's like going to Hawaii without all the murderous locals.

I'll have you know I'm also a hair donor. Salma Hayek wore me to the Oscars.

Otto

Homer (on Maggie): Let her slice off the tip of your ear and she'll go right to sleep.
Carl: No
Homer: That's not a choice you get to make.

Oh, I always thought tarred and feathered was just a figure of speech. Good luck patching pot holes and stuffing pillows now!

Homer

Lisa: I pick up books like you pick up beers.
Homer: Then you have a serious reading problem.

Homer: Sorry, Dad. I was afraid the dragon wouldn't cough the moon back up.
Grampa: You idiot! Dragon always coughs the moon back up.

Now that's a spicy meet-cute!

Luigi

We shows girls love on Valentine's Day, and they let us blow things up on the Fourth of July. I just pray they never fall on the same day.

Homer

Luckily, she doesn't know that our viewing platforms are multi.

Bart

From now on I'll dominate you in ways you don't realize.

Bart

Worst climbing Everest.

Comic Book Guy

I dump on you, and you take it. That's how friendship works.

Bart
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 129 in total

The Simpsons Season 23 Quotes

Choke on my numb blue hands.

Homer

Marge: What if we roll pennies and go to the dollar store?
Homer: That's good, Marge. Get all the terrible ideas out of your system.