The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 23 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 23 Episode 9: "Holidays of Future Passed"

Lisa: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal.
Marge: Not since they passed Homer's Law.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Homer: I just like to dress up to eat carrots and smoke.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Homer: How would you like to have future sex?
Marge: Why do you say future this is now?
Homer: I meant a week from tomorrow. That's when the new penis gets here.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lisa: You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia law.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Who cares what we look like in whatever stupid year this is.
 • Rating: Unrated

Grampa: I'm Santa!? Oh, now I'll never die.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 23 Episode 8: "The Ten-Per-Cent Solution"

Krusty: They were kids, and we gave them candy if they laughed! And if they didn't, until the 70s, I hit them with a stick! Some jerk tracked down the kids and made a documentary. It's called "Circus of Shame" or something.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Annie: I was so mad at him, I didn't have sex with a clown for five months!
Homer: What about mimes?
Annie: Come on, I'm not made of stone.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krusty: They took my dressing room, my parking space, even my writer, so I don't have a funny third item.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: No more TV! We're going to get some fresh air and visit a museum. Of television!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: People also lover a quitter. Sarah Palin. The Beatles.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Annie Dubinksy: If you ever hear a star's name and wonder, is he dead? The answer is either "I represent him" or "yes."
 • Rating: Unrated

Krusty: And all the movies are over a year old. It's like those parodies were written when the movies came out, but it took so long to animate them that we look dated and hackey.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 23 Episode 7: "The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants"

Jimbo: Your fists are sisters?
Dolph: Yeah, Pocahontas and Sacagawea!
Bart: Nice save.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Burns: Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no one can find a job.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: I'll get one those jobs where you don't need to read. Like french fry maker or general.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Can you be my dad?
Robert: If your mom was a secretary, there's a good chance I am.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robert: There ain't enough bourbon in kentucky for you big guy.
Homer: Yeah, the governor wrote me a letter to that effect.
 • Rating: Unrated

Robert: I have to warn you, account men have no souls.
Homer: Woohoo! No more church!
 • Rating: Unrated

Robert Marlow: In two weeks the only tie I'll be wearing will be for auto asphyxiation.
 • Rating: Unrated

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