(Volunteers offer to help Marge and Homer with Bart's predicament in the well.)
Falcon Man: Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch.
(The falcon is released and flies away) I don't think he's coming back.
Sea Captain: With this hook, and this hunk of chocolate, I'll land your boy. And I'll clean him for free.
Professor Frink: Although we can't reach the boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen, so that future generations can rescue him.

Lisa: Dad, can I have some money to buy Bart a birthday present?
Homer: Here you go.
Lisa: (Counts the money) Dad, this is $110!
Homer: Oh, sorry. (Gives her the whole wallet)

Marge: Sting, you look tired. Maybe you should take a rest.
Sting: Not while one of my fans need me.
Marge: Actually, I don't know if I've ever heard Bart play one of your albums.
Homer: Shhhh. Marge, he's a good digger!

Bart: I'm here for my free birthday sundae!
Guy: Eat it and get out!

Homer: That little Timmy is a real hero.
Lisa: What makes him a hero dad?
Homer: Well he fell down the well and ... can't get out.
Lisa: How does that make him a hero?
Homer: Well, it's more than you did!

Wal-E-Weasel: Hey there, I hear it's your birthday, how old are you?
Bart: Well, I'm...
Wal-E-Weasel: That's great! Would you like us to sing you a special song?
Bart: Hell no!
Wal-E-Weasel: You've got it, ready Seor Beaverotti?
Beaverotti: I'm-a-ready! And a one, and a two!
Song: You're the birthday, you're the birthday, you're the birthday boy or girl!

Outta my way! Look out ya horse's ass!

Willy

Bart: Rod, Todd, this is God!
Rod: How did you get on the radio?
Bart: What do you mean "how did I get on the radio?" I created the universe, stupid kid.
Todd: Forgive my brother, we believe you!
Bart: Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you! (bumps) laterha, ha, ha!

Bart: Look, I'll level with you; there is no Timmy 'O Toole, it was just a prank I was playing on everybody.
Lou: Well you sure fooled us, kid.
Eddie: Hey I've got an idea for a prank. Let's go home and go to sleep. He-he-he.

Homer: It's not our fault, we didn't want the boy, he was an accident!
Marge: Homer!!!
Homer: Um, could you edit that last part out?
Kent: Mr. Simpson, we're live coast to coast!
Homer: D'oh!

Mmmm...chocolate!...D'oh! Mmmm...chocolate!...D'oh! Marge! We need some more vanilla, chocolate and strawberry ice cream!

Homer

Oh, there's only one can of beer left and it's Bart's!

Homer

The Simpsons Season 3 Quotes

(talking about his drink) I don't know the scientific explanation, but fire made it good.

Homer

Homer: Marge, where's that... metal... dealy... you use to... dig... food?
Marge: You mean a spoon?
Homer: Yeah yeah yeah!