Boy, time really flies when you're reading... The Bible!? Eeew!

Bart

• Permalink: Boy, time really flies when you're reading... The Bible!? Eeew!
• Added: February 24, 2010

Homer: (to Bart) Young man, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, then he gets to break yours.
Grandpa: Aw, this is gonna be sweet.

• Permalink: Young man, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, then he gets to brea...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Dad, you and your stories. Bart broke my teeth, the nurses are stealing my money, this thing on my neck is getting bigger...

Homer

• Permalink: Dad, you and your stories. Bart broke my teeth, the nurses are s...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Milhouse: I've seen the Itchy and Scratchy Movie 13 times.
Nelson: I've seen it 17 times!
Bart: You must be getting pretty tired of that movie by now, huh?
Milhouse: No one who saw the movie'd say that!
Nelson: Let's get him!

• Permalink: I've seen the Itchy and Scratchy Movie 13 times. I've seen it ...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Marge: Do you want your son to grow up to be Chief Justice of the Supreme court or a sleazy male stripper?
Homer: Can't he be both like the late Earl Warren?
Marge: Earl Warren wasn't a stripper!
Homer: Now who's being naive?

• Permalink: Do you want your son to grow up to be Chief Justice of the Supre...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Movies! What a rip-off! I don't have to stand here and take this.
I... zzzzzzz.

Grampa

• Permalink: Movies! What a rip-off! I don't have to stand here and take this...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Marge: We'll bring back dinner.
Lisa: What are we gonna have?
Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.
Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Bart: Poison pizza.
Homer: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!

• Permalink: We'll bring back dinner. What are we gonna have? Well, that ...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Ms. Hoover: You must have read to her at a young age.
Homer: I did! I did read to her! (flashback) 8:00, Happy Days. The Fonz, Henry Winkler, is worried he's losing his cool.

• Permalink: You must have read to her at a young age. 00, Happy Days. The F...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Homer: Are you kidding? Lisa turned out perfect! I wont sit here and listen to you badmouthing Lisa!
Marge: We're talking about Bart.
Homer: Oh. That guy.

• Permalink: Are you kidding? Lisa turned out perfect! I wont sit here and li...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Homer: If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put you in a home.
Grampa: You already put me in a home.
Homer: Then we'll put you in the crooked home we saw on Sixty Minutes!
Grampa: I'll be good.

• Permalink: If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put...
• Added: February 24, 2010

I said I'm gonna punish you and come hell or high water I.. wait a minute. Ice cream truck! Me, me, I was here first!

Homer

• Permalink: I said I'm gonna punish you and come hell or high water I.. wait...
• Added: February 24, 2010

Kent Brockman: Tonight on "Eye on Springfield," we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years!
Man: *hic* Kill me! *hic* Kill me!

• Permalink: Tonight on Eye on Springfield, we meet a man who's been hiccuppi...
• Added: February 24, 2010