The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Lisa: Well I'm not going to accomplish anything just sitting here--
Grampa: And griping. It's time for--
Lisa: Action! I've got to talk to that woman who invented Malibu Stacy and see if I can get her to--
Grampa: Come out of retirement. I'm gonna get me a job...a real Malibu...and see if Stacy...can help...invent...me...young...heeeelp!
Lisa: You're getting a job.
Grampa: Yes! I'm going where the action is.

Executive: Our one effort to put a stop to this Lisa Lionheart thing has failed miserably. Gentlemen, we have to reinvent Malibu Stacy for the nineties. We'll stay here all night if need be!
Man: Can we order Chinese food?
Executive: (long pause) Yes.

I shouldn't be listening to complaints, I should be making them with you guys! The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason; to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything He's made.

Grampa

(At the toy store)
Lisa: I'm warning you, Mom, I may get a little crazy.
Marge: I understand. When I was your age--
Lisa: (attacking another girl) Hey, horseface, get your ugly paws off that summer fun set!

Lisa: You know, if we get through to just that one little girl, it'll all be worth it!
Stacy Lavelle: Yes. Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $46,000 for that doll.
Lisa: What?
Stacy Lavelle: Oh, nothing.

Tour Guide: Welcome to "Enchantment Lane" where all the parts come together and Malibu Stacy is born. Some folks say there's a little touch of fairy dust in the air.
(Scene changes to tough looking man assembling dolls)
Man: Aw, crap. There's a clog in the torso chute!!! Leroy! Get your ass in gear.

Lisa: This is great. They're really going to sell our doll!
Stacy Lavelle: Well, it wasn't difficult. I just told them who I was, and who you were, and they couldn't resist.
Lisa: Really?
Stacy Lavelle: Well, I didn't tell them who you were.

I'd be mortified if someone ever made a lousy product with the Simpson name on it.

Lisa

Oh, stomach churning...bowels clenching...not much time...must finish.

</i> Homer

(Apu sees Homer in the shower with a candy stuck in his chest)
Apu: What's that?
Homer: EhI like to leave it there.

Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead, how I've missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.

Apu

Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Homer
Displaying quotes 217 - 228 of 624 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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