The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
Lisa: Well I'm not going to accomplish anything just sitting here--
Grampa: And griping. It's time for--
Lisa: Action! I've got to talk to that woman who invented Malibu Stacy and see if I can get her to--
Grampa: Come out of retirement. I'm gonna get me a job...a real Malibu...and see if Stacy...can help...invent...me...young...heeeelp!
Lisa: You're getting a job.
Grampa: Yes! I'm going where the action is.
Executive: Our one effort to put a stop to this Lisa Lionheart thing has failed miserably. Gentlemen, we have to reinvent Malibu Stacy for the nineties. We'll stay here all night if need be!
Man: Can we order Chinese food?
Executive: (long pause) Yes.
I shouldn't be listening to complaints, I should be making them with you guys! The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason; to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything He's made.
Grampa
(At the toy store)
Lisa: I'm warning you, Mom, I may get a little crazy.
Marge: I understand. When I was your age--
Lisa: (attacking another girl) Hey, horseface, get your ugly paws off that summer fun set!
Lisa: You know, if we get through to just that one little girl, it'll all be worth it!
Stacy Lavelle: Yes. Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $46,000 for that doll.
Lisa: What?
Stacy Lavelle: Oh, nothing.
Tour Guide: Welcome to "Enchantment Lane" where all the parts come together and Malibu Stacy is born. Some folks say there's a little touch of fairy dust in the air.
(Scene changes to tough looking man assembling dolls)
Man: Aw, crap. There's a clog in the torso chute!!! Leroy! Get your ass in gear.
Lisa: This is great. They're really going to sell our doll!
Stacy Lavelle: Well, it wasn't difficult. I just told them who I was, and who you were, and they couldn't resist.
Lisa: Really?
Stacy Lavelle: Well, I didn't tell them who you were.
I'd be mortified if someone ever made a lousy product with the Simpson name on it.
Lisa
Oh, stomach churning...bowels clenching...not much time...must finish.
</i> Homer
(Apu sees Homer in the shower with a candy stuck in his chest)
Apu: What's that?
Homer: EhI like to leave it there.
Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead, how I've missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.
Apu
Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
Homer
