Marge, you gotta watch out. Your little boy, Bart, could have been eaten by that pony!

</i> Barney

Homer: Marge! You waited for me.
Marge: Er.
Homer: Okay, Marge, let's go.
Marge: I'll catch up to you.
Homer: Marge, I'm taking the car.
Marge: I'll walk.
Homer: This late? Through the bad neighborhood?
Marge: Yeah.
Homer: Marge
Marge: Go home! You're bad luck.
Homer: Wait! I see what's happening here. You're just mad because everyone in this town loves gambling except for you. Well that's just sad.

Lisa: Do you get the feeling this family is disintegrating? I mean, we haven't had a meal with Mom all week. And she hasn't even started my costume for the geography pageant.
Bart: Pipe down, sister. I gotta book a new act for tonight. Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was really Liza Minnelli. (shudders)

Lisa: Dad, Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume and she's not, and the geography pageant is tonight!
Homer: Lisa, your mom still loves you. It's just that she has a career now. She's a slot-jockey.

Homer: So uh...what do you guys think of Mindy?
Carl: We love cake. Anybody see the game last night?
Homer: Yeeeah. That Mindy seems real nice.
Lenny: Homer, what's with you? You're talking during a coffee break!
Carl: Yeah, usually you just take the box of donuts into the bathroom!
Homer: Mindy has a motorcycle!

Bart: (seeing his reflection in Milhouse's glasses) I'm a nerd!
Milhouse: (seeing his reflection in Bart's glasses) So am I!

(Singing) Oh Mindy.
You came and you gave without flaking,
but I sent you Ben Gay.
Oh Andy
You kissed me and stopped me from something...


Get back to work, Stuart!

Mr. Burns (<i>to a duck</i>)

Oh Marge, you came and you found me a turkey on my vacation away from worky.


Think unsexy thoughts think unsexy thoughts think unsexy thoughts...


(Homer and Mindy represent the nuclear power plant at the National Energy Convention.)
Man: Thanks for poisoning the planet, bastards!
Mindy: Get bent!
Man #2: No more Chernobyls!
Homer: Go to Hell! (Throws a brick at him)

Another day, another box of stolen pens.


The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.