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The-simpsons

Look, Dad, I made fish sticks. They're burned on the outside, but they're frozen on the inside, so it balances out.

Lisa

What the hell was that? I knew I shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot.

</i> Homer

Mindy: I've got a really wicked idea that could get us into a lot of trouble.
Homer: Mindy, we have to fight our temptations.
Mindy: No Homer, let's do it ... Let's call Room Service!

Homer: Colonel Klink! Why have you forsaken me!?
(A "ghost" in the form of Colonel Klink appears in front of Homer.)
Colonel Klink: What is it!
Homer: (Chuckles) Did you know Kinch had a radio in the coffee pot?
Colonel Klink: He did?

(Colonel Klink appears before Homer as his guardian angel.)
Homer: Colonel Klink! Did you get my Letters?
Colonel Klink: I'm not actually Colonel Klink. I'm just assuming his form.
Homer: Heh heh, did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp?
Colonel Klink: Homerrrrrrr!

Bart: Each parking space is a mere one foot narrower, indistinguishable to the naked eye. Therein lies the game.
Millhouse: I fear to watch...yet I cannot turn away!
Principal Skinner: Blasted woman, you parked too close, move your car!
Mrs. Krabappel: I'm in the lines. You got a problem, go tell your mama.
Principal Skinner: Oh, don't worry, she'll hear about this!

You mean it ain't me noggin it's me peepers? Well that's just loverly!

Bart

Doctor: Hmm...throat looks a little red...I better spray it.
Bart: (Coughs then in a nerdy voice.) Ooh, thanks nice lady, my voice is crazy with this brain already. Ooh, I feel so much better Mr. Medical science-type person.

Sherri & Terri: Nice glasses four eyes!
Nelson: Yeah, nice shoes...uh... two feet...uh.

Homer: Moe, I need your advice... See I've got this friend named Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
Guy: (Runs out of the bar, crying)
Barney: Aye! Joey Joe Joe!

(Homer climbs into a cramped elevator with Mindy, but does not notice her.)
Homer: I've made it the whole day without seeing her again! (Notices Mindy) Aah! I mean--Haalow!
Mindy: Eh...I guess we'll be going down together--I mean getting off t--I mean...
Homer: That's okay. I'll just push the button for the stimulator--I mean elevator!

That raccoon stole my lamb chop!

Grampa
Displaying quotes 361 - 372 of 624 in total

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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