The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
Nelson: What's in the bag, wuss? (grabs it from Bart) Oh, look, Campers Pampers.
(Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney appear, and they start to play "Keep Away.")
Bart: Yeah, whatever. (walks away)
Jimbo: Uh You better pretend you want your uniform back, twerp!
(The bullies begin to play "Keep Away" again.)
Bart: Oh, no. Woe is me. My precious uniform.
Ned: Well, it's Bart Simpson...come on in! You're just in time for "Sponge Bath the Old Folks" Day!
Jasper: Help yourself...but stay above the equator!
Homer: Well, if it isn't the leader of the wiener patrol, boning up on his nerd lessons.
Marge: Homer, you should be more supportive.
Homer: You're right, Marge. Good work, boy. (ruffles his hair while Marge leaves) (singing) Egghead likes his booky-books!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Just tucking him in.
Bart: (Thinking) Look, Homer won't want to go, so just ask him and he'll say no. Then it'll be his fault.
Homer: (Thinking) I don't want to go, so if he asks me to go, I'll just say, yes!
Homer's Brain: Wait! Are you sure that's how this sort of thing works?
Homer: Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!
Bart: (Through clenched teeth) Dad, I really want you to come on this trip with me.
Homer: (Through clenched teeth) Bart, I'd be delighted to go on your trip with you.
Bart & Homer: D'oh!
Captain McCallister: Arr, here be a fine vessel, the yarest river-going boat there be.
Homer: I'll take it!
(The raft sinks.)
Captain McCallister: (Sadly) Arr, I don't know what I'm doing.
Homer: Son, there was something I was going to give you at the end of this trip, but since we may not survive, I want you to have it now.
Bart: A real Swiss Army knife! Cool!
Homer: I stole it from that Borgnine guy.
(Scene switches to the other campers confronted with a bear.)
Ernest Borgnine: Don't worry, kids! I'll take care of him with my trusty (searches for his knife)er, er, um, er, uh, hmm.
Lisa: This is madness. He's just peddling a bunch of easy answers.
Carl: And how!
There once was a man named Enos
Krusty
People in Audience: Be like boy! Be like boy! Be like boy!
Senior Citizens: (in the back) We like Roy! We like Roy!
James Brown: Wait a minute. This bandstand wasn't double-bolted!
Construction Guy: I didn't feel like doing it.
Homer: Right on, brother!
Marge: I don't want to judge the rightness of your ego orientation, but my inner critic is telling me you should have done your job.
Moe: They're headed for the old mill!
Homer: No we're not!
Moe: Well then, let's go to the old mill anyway to get some cider!
Brad Goodman: And soon you're not a human being, you're a human do-ing. Then what comes next?
Bart: A human go-ing!
