Two and a Half Men Season 3 Quotes
Charlie: Wanna play videogames?
Jake: Sure.
Alan: Are you forgetting you're being punished?
Jake: No, but why does Uncle Charlie have to suffer?
Charlie: What time?
Alan: Eight.
Charlie: O'clock?
Alan: No, degrees
Berta [about Charlie]: He just getting home?
Alan: Yeah.
Berta: You really have to wonder how long he can keep burning that penis at both ends
What's the oompa loompa doing here on a weekday?
Berta [about Jake]
Alan: You turned my business into a brothel.
Charlie: I thought you'd be happy. I didn't touch a single patient
Alan: Principal Gallagher's lesbian lover might drop by to kick my ass.
Charlie: Oh, good, remind me to rewind the camcorder
Betsy: He's really something.
Charlie: Oh, yeah, he's really something. The question is what
Do you just stay awake at nights thinking of new ways to embarrass me?
Evelyn [to Alan]
Jake: Are we going to dinner tonight?
Alan: Do I look like I'm in shape to go to dinner?
Jake: I don't know, I'm not a doctor
Charlie: We're not going. This conversation is over.
Jake: Not if I'm still talking
Charlie: Look, I'm sorry I lost my temper.
Jake: I'm sorry you slipped in dog crap when you were chasing me
Charlie: Mixing those pills with alcohol is really a bad idea.
Alan: Not if you're trying to kill yourself