Joe: So, what can I do for you Peter?
Peter: Well Joe, I need to talk to you about something kind of personal.
Joe: Shoot.
Peter: Well, you know, I took this test and, uh, it sorta turns out that I'm technically mentally retarded. And, um, i just wanted to ask, ya know, how do you deal with it?
Joe: Deal with what?
Peter: You know, with being retarded.
Joe: Peter, I'm not retarded, I'm handicapped.
Peter: Oh, well now you're just splitting hairs

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Family Guy Season 4 Episode 6 Quotes

So, is there any tread left on the tires, or at this point is it just like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

Stewie [to prostitute]

Peter: All right everybody, time for paint ball!
Brian: Uh... I forgot to pick up the paint ballguns.
Joe: We can use these, [he brings a box of live guns] I brought them from the office.
Everyone takes a gun.
Lois: Peter, is it safe to be firing real gun in the house?
Peter: All right, All Right, nobody fire at Lois, she's scare... Okay 1.. 2.. 3... GO!