Alan: So you understand the situation?
Kandi: I think so. Now that we're not married anymore, you want to sell my condo.
Alan: No, no, it's-- it's our condo. I got it for us. Not the smartest thing I ever did, but my real estate advisor was my penis.
Kandi: Is that what they mean when they say the market's gone soft?


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Two and a Half Men Season 4 Episode 10 Quotes

My name is Charlie, and, um, my maid says I'm a sex addict

Charlie

Alan: I don't like it here.
Charlie: Well, tough, this was the only way I could get Berta to come back.
Alan: But why do I have to be here?
Charlie: Because you're looking for a place to sell your condo!