Artie: This guy is a phenomenon. The label has already moved a 100,000 units in two weeks. The Wiggles can kiss my pasty white tushie.
Alan: I'm sorry, who are you?
Artie: Oh, I'm Artie Pliskin, president and CEO of Fluffy Bunny Records. And you are?
Alan: Alan, Charlie's brother.
Artie: Oh, you're the sponge!

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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 8 Quotes

Alan: (surprised look) They love him! How can they love him?
Artie: Who cares, we're gonna make a fortune.
Alan: Doesn't it bother you that he's loaded?
Artie: (shrugs) He's a musician. It'd bother me if he wasn't.

(to Berta) I just don't understand what kind of spiteful god could allow my drunken whoremonger of a brother to become a children's singing star while I toil away in poverty-stricken anonymity.