Lisa: Well, I know it sounds absurd. But I dreamed the Boogeyman was after me and he's...
Homer: Ahhh! Boogeyman! You nail all the doors and the windows; I'll go get the gun!

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The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Lisa: Dad, Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume and she's not, and the geography pageant is tonight!
Homer: Lisa, your mom still loves you. It's just that she has a career now. She's a slot-jockey.