Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Alan [about Jake]: What's the matter with him?
Judith: His little girlfriend broke up with him.
Alan: Oh, no.
Judith: Yeah, I was hoping you could talk to him, because, let's face it, who knows more about getting dumped?
Alan: You don't have to flatter me, Judith. I'll talk to him.


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Alan Harper Quotes, Judith Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes

Charlie: Did I hear Numbnuts come in?
Alan: "Numbnuts?"
Charlie: Oh, sorry. Numbnuts Junior.

Alan: (Charlie makes fun of Alan's bicycling outfit) Excuse me, this is what they wear in the Tour de France.
Charlie: (referring to his French one night stand) Alan, I just took the Tour de France, and the only thing I was wearing was a smile and a condom.