Bart: You know, there are names for people like you.
Lisa: No, there aren't.
Bart: Teacher's pet, apple polisher, butt kisser--
Homer: Bart! You're saying "butt kisser" like it's a bad thing.
Bart: Huh?
(Homer pats his leg and Bart sits on his lap.)
Homer: Well, you see, boy, it never hurts to grease the wheels a little.
Lisa: I'm not greasing the wheels, Dad. I like my teacher.
Homer: Sure, Lis. You see how it works, Bart? A cupcake her, a good grade there.
Lisa: Dad, I get good grades 'cause I'm smart and I pay attention and I study hard.
Homer: Yeah, right, Lisa. It's the three roads to success, Bart: work, brains and--
(Homer grabs one of Lisa's cupcakes.)
Homer: Hmm?
Lisa: Oh, brother.


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Characters:
Homer Simpson, Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson
Episode:
The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 5: "Bart the General"
Show:
The Simpsons
Related Quotes:
Homer Simpson Quotes, Bart Simpson Quotes, Lisa Simpson Quotes, The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes
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The Simpsons Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

Armistice treaty, article four. "Nelson is never again to raise his fists in anger." Article five. "Nelson recognizes Bart's right to exist." Article six. "Although Nelson shall have no official power, he shall remain a figurehead of menace in the neighborhood."

Herman

Bart: Okay, we all know why we're here, right?
Milhouse: No, why?
Bart: To fight Nelson, the bully. That guy has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can't promise you victory. I can't promise you good times. But the one thing I do know--
(All the boys file out.)
Bart: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!