Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Doctor: You're a doctor?
Alan: I'm a chiropractor.
Doctor: Then... no


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Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 17 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 17 Quotes

Charlie [having back pain]: Alan, you're a chiropractor... do something.
Alan: Really, you want MY help? Even after you referred to my profession as, oh what was it.. "urban voodoo"?
Charlie: I'm sorry. Now help me.
Alan: Ok, ok... we'll see what we can do. [begins doing voodoo dance] Hoomala, hoomala, hoomala...

Charlie [in pain on the floor]: New plan—I need someone who can give me drugs.
Berta: I'm not holding, but I can make a coupla calls.
Alan: Drugs just mask the problem.
Charlie: Fine. Mask it. Throw a cape on it, and let it fight crime. I just want it to go away