If two thousand years of-- of human history has taught us anythi...
Alan: If two thousand years of-- of human history has taught us anything, it is that there's karmic justice in the world, and that when people live the way you do, bad things have to happen to them to even things out.
Charlie: Well, I don't agree.
Alan: It's not up for debate! It's a... law, like gravity!
Charlie: Oh, I agree with gravity.
Alan: Oh, good. We wouldn't want you flying off the planet with nothing to hump but satellites
- Charlie Harper, Alan Harper
- Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 17: "Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!"
- Two and a Half Men
- Related Quotes:
- Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 17 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
- Added by:
- Eric Hochberger
Charlie [having back pain]: Alan, you're a chiropractor... do something.
Alan: Really, you want MY help? Even after you referred to my profession as, oh what was it.. "urban voodoo"?
Charlie: I'm sorry. Now help me.
Alan: Ok, ok... we'll see what we can do. [begins doing voodoo dance] Hoomala, hoomala, hoomala...
- Permalink: Alan, you're a chiropractor... do something. Really, you want ...
Charlie [in pain on the floor]: New planâ€”I need someone who can give me drugs.
Berta: I'm not holding, but I can make a coupla calls.
Alan: Drugs just mask the problem.
Charlie: Fine. Mask it. Throw a cape on it, and let it fight crime. I just want it to go away
- Permalink: New planâ€”I need someone who can give me drugs. I'm not holdi...