Grey's Anatomy Round Table: Do You Think Hayes is "Derek-Approved?"

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Everyone said goodbye to Andrew DeLuca, as grief was at the forefront of Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 8.

And by the end of the hour, Teddy was despondent beyond recognition.

Join Jasmin Pettie and TV Fanatics Meaghan Frey and Jasmine Blu as they discuss the hour.

Grey's Anatomy Round Table 660px

How much did DeLuca's memorial service move you or get you in the "feels?"

Jasmin: It moved me quite a bit, which I was surprised; I've never really liked the character, and I spent Grey's Anatomy Season 15 and Grey's Anatomy Season 16 actively hating him because his behavior was so god awful.

I was surprised that I found his memorial service quite moving and well done. I think it was because they found a creative way to do it and because funerals in the real world like we normally do aren't possible right now.

DeLuca's memorial  - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 8

Meaghan: I actually differed from Jasmin. While some moments were sweet and hit the spot, like DeLuca's application tape talking about wanting to work with the great doctors at Grey Sloan, others just completely missed the mark for me.

The fact that they took the time to record the characters talking but didn't include the dialogue was one of the most bizarre choices I've ever seen them make on the show. Just watching them silently move their mouths added nothing to the moment and actually ended up making me angry.

I lost my wife. The therapist said there's no wrong way to process the grief. But there is, it's through a computer screen. It's wrong.


Jasmine: I'm with you, Meaghan. I'm still generally annoyed with the death as it is, but the choice to have them discuss this character during some video montage and not let us hear what they were saying was so jarring and distracting that it took me out of it. DeLuca's interview was nice, I guess, though incongruent with his original background again.

What are your thoughts on how everyone processed the news? (Teddy's catatonic state, Helm, Schmico, etc.)

Jasmin: I think they did a really good job showing everyone's process in this episode. Grief and guilt are different for everyone, and I'm glad that they showed that. Teddy and Owen displayed survivors' guilt and frustration that they did everything right and he still died.

At the end, we see Teddy in a catatonic state, and it made me think that she might be sick herself or that there was something else wrong.

Going Over It  - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 8

While I've never been a Teddy and Owen shipper, I did like the moment at the end where Owen noticed something was wrong and came over to her and told her that he would take her home, picked her up, and carried her.

I totally got Helm's reaction. I understand why she said and thought those horrible things about him. DeLuca was an ass for a really long time. I probably would have done the same thing myself, but that doesn't mean she wanted him dead.

I thought what Maggie did for her was wonderful. My heart broke for Schmitt when he described his emotions. Richard was angry, and Bailey went overboard trying to figure out what happened. Everyone's experience of a loss is different, and I like that they showed that.

Too Much  - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 8

Meaghan: You would have thought everyone was DeLuca's best friend from the way they were acting during this episode.

It almost felt like the shows that center around a high school where someone dies, and everyone and their mother talks about how much they loved them and how much they miss them even though they were the school outcast.

Maggie's breakdown felt raw and real, so I feel like she hit me the hardest personally.

With all the talks of guest stars coming back, I would have loved to see Arizona come back for his memorial service or at least make an appearance via video. After all, they did live together for a bit, so she may be one of the people he was closest to on the show.

I think we owe it to the people we lost to live the lives they can't. Even when were at a loss. Even where we're afraid.


Jasmine: I am genuinely trying to recall the full extent of DeLuca being this awful, Jasmin. I mean, I do get people not liking the guy at times, I've had my moments too, but I'm blanking on all of this! Did he kill someone's kitten, and I missed it or something?

Yes, Meaghan! That's exactly what it's been feeling like for me, too! I'm trying to understand how DeLuca's death is about to roll over into a Teddy redemption arc right now and the comments about how they were close. When?!

I still feel like they glossed over the people remaining who would've been closest to him by glossing over when they were informed, like Maggie and Bailey. I, too, wish we would've seen or at least heard a reference to Arizona because they were roommates and close friends. I also agree that Maggie and Bailey felt the rawest and real to me.

Helm was OK, considering she didn't like the guy, but hell, I'm still wondering if she had that energy for the M.I.A. Parker who fell off the face of the earth.

Derek and Meredith discussed the kids, Mer returning to them, and he does know Ellis. React.

Jasmin: Oh my god, my heart! Ugh, I teared up! I've been waiting for them to discuss the kids, and here it is!

Hearing Derek talking about Ellis and knowing that he watched over Meredith and the kids were so emotional for me. I loved hearing him describe who she is and getting to learn more about her.

I loved hearing him talk about Zola and Meredith teaching her to ride a bike. I'm glad he encouraged her to go back. As much as Derek and Meredith miss each other, she's needed back in the land of the living.

Derek Fishes  - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 8

Jasmine: Yeah, I thought that was a great scene. It was probably the best part about the beach scenes with Derek. It felt like some closure on him dying before he found out about his baby, so I loved that moment.

Do you think Hayes making it to the beach with Meredith puts him back in the front running for a potential romance if she wakes up?

Jasmin: Absolutely. I've been waiting for this, baby! I love it! I loved their scenes together. I loved how Meredith kept joyfully asking him what he did to make her kids smile so wide and laugh so loudly.

She knows he can't hear her, yet there she is, dying to know what he said or did. They already feel like a pair to me. So much in sync.

I love that Derek, who was shown to be extremely jealous in life, encouraged her to hear Hayes out. I really felt like he was giving her his blessing, and the fact that they established that Hayes met the kids virtually and they know who he is-- sealed the deal for me.

Hayes Helps  - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 8

Meaghan: If Mer makes it out of this, then there is no doubt in my mind that she will end up with Hayes. If that ends up being the case, though, it makes it feel like this whole McDreamy Beach Bash was a waste of time.

I know it is morbid to want the lead to kick the bucket, but at this point, Derek and her skipping off into a glorious beach sunset feels like the only right ending for her.

However, I'm a sucker for Hayes, so I will live with it if he ends up being her happy ending, especially after we found out he is hanging with the kids.

It's OK. I"ll be right here.


Jasmine: I like the idea of Mer and Hayes. I think if Mer wakes up, then it's the direction they'll go, and I'm cool with that.

My only complaint is that they have put Hayes on the backburner for the majority of the season. So not only have they robbed us of the chance to see their relationship develop over the season, but Hayes doesn't get individual development either.

But yeah, if he's talking to the kids and all, then it sounds promising.

On a scale of 1-10, how much did you enjoy drunken Link, Jo, and Jackson? Do you think their scenes offered much-needed levity?

Jasmin: I'd say a solid 7. I really think they did. Their scenes were funny and raw and provided a good balance for the episode. I also loved seeing more of Jo and Jackson's friends with benefits relationship and more of Jo and Link and Jackson and Link's friendship.

I'd actually forgotten that Jackson and Link were friends, so it was cool to see that dynamic again and that Link is supportive of their situation.

It's Jackson Avery! I'm here for a quick bang!


Meaghan: 8. It would have been higher if I was actually a Jo fan and if it didn't start out with a Jo and Jackson tryst. I managed to completely block that out from my memory during the break, and I wish I could go back to being in the dark again.

That being said, I enjoy them as friends, and I enjoy any time Link is in the mix with someone, so I was definitely here for it.

Hell, maybe if they had paired up Link and Jo, I could have gotten on board with Jo as a character (I'm a firm Amelink shipper, so this would only be in an alternate universe where they don't exist).

Link Smiles - Tall  - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 2

Jasmine: I'd say a six, but it worked well enough. I'll agree with Meaghan with almost everything.

Link is someone you can put in a scene with any other character, and it always works. He's the perfect bridge. Chris Carmack is so underrated, and I adore him here.

I, too, had blocked out the Jo and Jackson situationship, so I could've gone without the reminder, but I always enjoyed Jackson and Link's weird bromance, so I thought the scenes were fun.

Now that Winston has privileges at GSM, do you think he and Maggie will work together more?

Jasmin: I think so. Winston living in Boston was only going to go on for so long; there's only so much you can do virtually.

I knew he'd be moving to Seattle at some point, and I'm glad to see him working at Grey Sloan Memorial and hanging with Maggie's family. I'm also happy that both Winston and Hayes are finally getting the proper screen time they deserve.

I'll be interested to see more of their dynamic moving forward as Maggie used to be his teacher, and she is now his boss.

Meaghan: Most likely, but I kind of wish they would stay far away from each other on company time. Mixing business with pleasure usually creates more issues for the Grey Sloan couples, and I like Winston. I want this to work out for them.

Can I put in an application now for him to be Link's new BFFL so we can get rid of Nico?

Long- Distance  - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 2

Jasmine: Damn, Jasmin. I wasn't thinking about the dynamic where Maggie used to be Winston's boss. Basically, is this the alternative to how DeLuca couldn't handle dating his superior, Maggie, but magically go over it for Meredith, and now Maggie gets her former student that can handle it?

I can see Maggie and Winston working together more as they continue to find new ways to flesh Winston out and incorporate him in the show more. 

Do you think Richard and the others were too hard on Bailey? Or was she hurting them by going over how DeLuca died?

Jasmin: I don't think Richard and the others were too hard on her. I think they were all hurting, and Richard told her exactly what she needed to hear.

In trying to find an answer or a reason for what happened, she was unintentionally hurting the people around her who were suffering too. The strength of Richard and Bailey's relationship is that they can tell each other the truth when no one else can or will.

You are causing me harm. You are causing harm to Hunt and Altman.


Meaghan: Yes and no. Bailey desperately wanted closure that she didn't get because of missing DeLuca's whole case. Of course, she was going to want answers.

BUT once Richard went to her and said it wasn't fair to put Owen and Teddy through that when they were already hurting. I wish she would have backed off of it a little bit. Everyone grieves differently, though, and this was how she chose to grieve.

Bem Holds Bailey  - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 8

Jasmine: I think Richard was hard on her. Knowing Bailey's history with her underlings and losing them (from George, her favorite, to Percy getting murdered in front of her), and what she recently went through with her mother, AND her OCD, they still kept her in the dark about DeLuca until after he died.

I think that was incredibly insensitive, and they forfeited the right to micromanage or ask that she prioritize someone else's grieving process over her own.

She probably wouldn't have obsessively, compulsively fixated on it (it was a total OCD trigger whether people realize it or not) if she was there when it happened, so there's that.

And Teddy was the same person who had Cristina going through what happened to Henry a million times, so this isn't a new nor unexpected reaction, and they should've left Bailey alone instead of everyone telling her how she should grieve.

Do you think Zola has too much pressure and responsibility placed on her?

Jasmin: Gosh, Zola is a real trooper. She definitely is Meredith Grey's daughter through and through. I'm a big believer in found family, and one of the things Grey's does really well for me is shows that there are many different ways to be a family, and that family is what you make of it.

True family is made up of the people who love and support you unconditionally, not genetics. I really love that they've shown the strength of that bond between Zola and her family. So yes, I do think she has a lot of pressure and responsibility placed on her, which often comes with being the oldest.

Zola Zooms Mer - tall - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 8

Meaghan: Zola is definitely Meredith Grey's child. She has had to deal with so much in her short life, even more than she could possibly remember. She has had to grow up quickly because of that.

It is nice to see her be a kid from time to time. When she was dancing with her siblings and Winston, she was so happy. It was such a stark contrast to the girl dealing with the possibility of her mom dying. Let's see more of that Zola.

Hi, mommy. I miss you so much. I love you.

Zola [to Mer]

Jasmine: Zola is stronger than she should have to be, and I agree that it was a breath of fresh air seeing her dancing and having fun for a bit. However, the maturity that she has to exude as the oldest is both relatable to me and incredibly frustrating.

Sometimes, it feels like she's the most mature, reasonable person in that entire house. It's an incredible amount of pressure on someone so young. The more I see this mature Zola, trying to keep it all together, the angrier I am about Meredith frolicking on the beach.

What was your favorite moment from the episode? Is there anything else you'd love to add that wasn't covered?

Jasmin: For it's the beach scenes! Meredith and Derek. Meredith and Hayes. I loved it all!

I loved Derek's gentle teasing. His facial expressions. Listening to them talk about the kids.

I loved that Hayes told Meredith to fight, and he talked about how her kids were doing and how everyone needs her.

My favorite hidden moment of the episode was Tom! He appears in the background at DeLuca's outdoor memorial, which means he's getting better. If Tom is well enough to be outside at the memorial, then his condition has greatly improved since last we saw, and that's great. Tom's a wonderfully complex character, and I'm glad he's doing better.

Hopelessly Waiting - tall - Grey's Anatomy Season 17 Episode 8

Meaghan: YES! Everything about Derek on the beach. Him talking about how he watches the kids and how much he knows about them had my heart bursting.

When he first mentioned Ellis, I thought he meant Mama Grey, and I was about to take up a petition to have him permanently relocated to the beach so he could get away from her.

I really wish they would give us one full beach episode so he and Mer could be allowed the time to remind us all how much greatness MerDer brought to the show once upon a time. We get glimpses of it, then they cut back to the (fully) living, and it leaves me wanting so much more!

Did anyone lose a naked man because he went that way!


Jasmine: Um, Link made me smile. But yeah, I loved Perez and his comment about the naked guy. Perez is such a scene-stealer. I also enjoyed Maggie and Helm's back-to-back hug. I found that to be such a powerful scene and striking gesture. It was a bit of a gut-punch, but for once, effectively.

Over to you, Grey's Fanatics. What are your thoughts on our responses? Give the questions a go in the comments below!

Grey's Anatomy airs Thursdays on ABC.

Jasmine Blu is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. She is an insomniac who spends late nights and early mornings binge-watching way too many shows and binge-drinking way too much tea. Her eclectic taste makes her an unpredictable viewer with an appreciation for complex characters, diverse representation, dynamic duos, compelling stories, and guilty pleasures. You'll definitely find her obsessively live-tweeting, waxing poetic, and chatting up fellow Fanatics and readers. Follow her on Twitter.

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