Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXBrian Griffin Quotes
Stewie: Boy this must be killing you. You're an atheist, and the one guy you don't believe in is getting to bang the woman of your dreams.
Brain: I don't have to take this! I'm out of here. Can you let me out?
Peter: Jesus, we're going to help you lose your virginity!
Quagmire: Oh god! I love sex!
Joe: Sex is overrated.
Peter: Stay out of this Joe.
Hey, its Thanksgiving. Shouldn't you be in Detroit losing a football game right about now.
Brian: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: Playing Unga Bunga. It's the championship.
Stewie: Go away! This is why Zillow estimates our house at $4.
Stewie: Are you blood brothers with Meg because you ate her tampon out of the trash?
Brian: No, that, that's something else.
Apollo: I was booked for three hours by "Archibald Meatpants."
Brian: He's...he's dead.
Apollo: Well, either way, I'm getting paid and somebody's getting torn open.
Thank God we're finally here. Kind of weird that they showed Flight 93 on Flight 93.
Brian: Oh my god, Stewie, it worked! We're in Vegas!
Stewie: Yeah, alright! Let's go to the hospital, get checked for teleportation cancer, and then party!
Peter: Shut up, Meg!
Lois: Peter!
Chris: Dad!
Brian: You're back!
Meg: [dejectedly] Yay.
Stewie: Brian, I can't find Rupert anywhere! Have you seen him?
Brian: Oh, I thought Lois would've told you. She sent him back to the factory.
Stewie: what, why?
Brian: She was afraid he was going to choke you.
Stewie: That was a game we played! Believe me, I was in control the whole time!
Peter: Well, I'll be on the lookout for great tits.
Lois: Peter!
Brian: Well actually Lois, that's a species of bird that's been known to frequent domestic birdhouses.
