Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Family Guy Quotes
Chris (Luke): One of these days, I'm just gonna take off and join the Rebellion whether you like it or not.
Barbara Pewterschmidt (Aunt Beru): Over my burnt carcass.
Lois (Princess Leia): Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. All right, now what do I click?
Cleveland (R2-D2): Click "Preferences".
Lois (Princess Leia): OK, I've clicked "Preferences".
Cleveland (R2-D2): Now go to "Default Media Browser".
Lois (Princess Leia): OK...there's a little hourglass and it's...it's not letting me do anything. It...it says "Buffering", what is that?
Cleveland (R2-D2): Just give it a minute.
Lois (Princess Leia): All I'm trying to do is make an MPEG!
Cleveland (R2-D2): All I'm trying to do is tell you to wait a minute!
Lois (Princess Leia): OK, relax.
Cleveland (R2-D2): Now click "Import Video File".
Lois (Princess Leia): All right. It's...it's telling me I have to download Real Player 7.
Cleveland (R2-D2): You know what? I'll just bring it to him myself.
So, Obi-Wan, we meet again. What part of "Stay fifty yards away at all times" don't you understand?
Stewie (Vader)
Chris (Luke): (About the Millenium Falcon) What a piece of junk!
Peter (Han): Thank you. This was my brother's. He died of leukemia. How you feel about now?
Herbert (Obi-Wan): My sexy friend and I are looking for a ship.
Peter (Han): Well, you're in luck! I'm Han Solo, captain of the Millenium Falcon, and the only actor whose career isn't destroyed by this movie.
Quagmire (C3PO): Who would you rather do: Jabba the Hutt right after a shower, or a service droid?
Cleveland (R2-D2): My father was a service droid!
Chris (Luke): You don't believe in the force, do you?
Peter (Han): Oh, you mean that thing you just learned about three hours ago, and am now judging me for not believing in?
I have you now, young Skywalker. And with today's gas prices, not a moment too soon!
Stewie (Darth Vader)
Lois (Leia): Governor Tarkin. I smelled your stench as soon as we were brought on board.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Um, actually, that's me. I made a Darth Doodie.
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): Princess Leia, we've decided to test our Death Star planet blower-upper gun on your home planet of Alderaan.
Lois (Leia): NO!
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): She said no. Should we still do it?
Stewie (Darth Vader): Yes.
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Chris: Didn't Robot Chicken already do this three months ago?
Peter: I wouldn't worry about it, Chris. I don't even think people are aware of that show's existence.
Chris: Well, I don't know, Dad. I think a decent number of people watch it.
Peter: Oh, really? Define 'decent'.
Chris: I think it's the highest rated show on Cartoon Network, and the Star Wars episode doubled that audience.
Peter: Well, yeah. But double ten people is like twenty people. So, uh, what kind of numbers are we talking about here, you know?
Chris: Don't be glib about this stuff, Dad. It's a legitimate show and they beat you to the punch.
Peter: Uh, I don't know about that, Chris. To me, a legitimate show is on ABC, CBS, NBC... you know, one of the real networks.
Chris: Hahaha. I don't know about that, Dad.
Peter: And besides, what's up with that fifteen minute runtime? What is that? It's like fifteen minutes of guys playing with Star Wars dolls. Oh yay!
Chris: Oh, so you do know the show!
Peter: I read part of a review online. I am not a fan.
Chris: You know, Dad. You're a real jerk!
How the hell am I going to break this to Lois? If she finds out I got fired for drinking, she's going to blame me!
Peter
