Desperate Housewives Season 1

"One Wonderful Day"

Bree and Rex make amends, but then tragedy hits the Van De Kamp family. Zach learns what happened to his father. Edie meets the new residents of Wisteria Lane.

"Goodbye For Now"

Susan and Mike move in together. Lynette tries to make sure Annabel (Melinda McGraw) doesn't come between her and Tom, but ends up getting Tom fired.

"Sunday in the Park with George"

George continues to weasel his way into Bree's Life. Rex's health continues to detoriate. Lynette tries to spice things up with Tom.

"Fear No More"

Gabrielle plans a farewell party for Carlos before he leaves for jail for eight months. George Williams (Roger Bart) resurfaces in Bree's life.

"Live Alone and Like It"

Lynette learns that no good deed goes unpunished when she befriends Mrs. McCluskey. Susan's mother tries to jump start her and her daughter's love lives and ends up picking him up a man.

"Children Will Listen"

Susan's mother, Sophie (Lesley Add Warren) pays an unexpected visit after she and her boyfriend (Bob Newhart) break up.

"There Won't Be Trumpets"

Carlos' mother awakes from her coma, but ends up dying. Lynette befriends a deaf woman, Alisa Stevens (Marlee Matlin) at her kids' school.

"The Ladies Who Lunch"

Maisy Gibbons (Sharon Lawrence) is finally caught and arrest for prostitution. Maisy's little black book of clients, that includes Rex, soon becomes public for all to see.

Mike is questioned about Mrs. Huber's murder by the police and is temporarily arrested. John's friend, Justin (Ryan Carnes) attempts to blackmail Gabrielle into making him her new gardener.

"Love is in the Air"

It's Valentine's Day on Wisteria Lane and Susan is looking forward to her romantic date with Mike until she learns a surprising fact about him. Bree discovers something knew about Rex's sexual needs.

When Lynette's father-in-aw, Rodney Scavo (Ryan O'Neal), comes to visit, she learns that he's been cheating on his wife. Susan is disturbed by Julie's romance with Zach.

"Every Day a Little Death"

The residents of Wisteria Lane learn that Martha Huber has passed away and they discover she kept a journal, forcing Susan to confess to Edie about her role in burning the house down.

Edie organizes a neighborhood search for the missing Mrs. Huber, just as her sister, Felicia Tilman (Harriet Sansom Harris) arrives. Bree asks an attractive pharmacist on a date.

"Come Back to Me"

Maisy Gibbons (Sharon Lawrence) returns and her secret life intersects with Bree's. Gabrielle gets a taste of her own medicine when Carlos confesses in jail. Susan plans to take her relationship with Mike to the next level.

"Suspicious Minds"

Gabrielle organizes a Halston fashion show for charity highlighting the ladies of Wisteria Lane. John's mother, Helen Rowlan (Kathryn Harrold) thinks her son is sleeping with Susan and not Gabrielle, but Gabrielle soon confesses.

The aftermath of Bree's son Andrew running over Carlos' mother. Susan grows suspicious of Mike's intentions of moving to Wisteria Lane. Lynette reaches the breaking point in her addiction to ADD medication.

"Anything You Can Do"

Susan and Mike's first official date is postponed when a sexy house guest, Kendra (Heather Stephens), comes to visit Mike. Lynette becomes more dependent on her kids' ADD medication.

"Running to Stand Still"

Lynette butts heads with Maisy Gibbons (Sharon Lawrence) at the twins' school over a play. Susan investigates the mystery of Zach's sudden disappearance.

"Come In, Stranger"

A break-in on Wisteria Lane makes a vulnerable Susan accept a date with a policeman when Mike seems indifferent. Rex takes the kids for the weekend, leaving a lonely Bree behind.

"Who's That Woman?"

Cash-strapped Mrs. Huber blackmails Susan about being involved with Edie's housefire. Carlos becomes suspicious that Gabrielle is having an affair and accuses the wrong man.

"Pretty Little Picture"

The ladies host the big dinner party that the late Mary Alice Young had planned; Gabrielle finds herself being blackmailed by a nine-year-old who catches her with ther gardener

"Ah, But Underneath"

Edie crashes Mike's dinner date with Susan; Gabrielle realizes her gardener is taking their fling too seriously; Bree forces Rex to go to therapy; Lynette resorts to drastic measures to keep her kids in line.

Mary Alice Young commits suicide one day in her house. She narrates the story of her family, friends and neighbors from her point of view.

Desperate Housewives
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Desperate Housewives Season 1 Quotes

Preston: We don't want to get spanked.
Porter: Yeah, we promise we'll be good.
Lynette: Too late, you stole and then you lied. Even worse, you made me look bad in front of Mrs. McCluskey, who you know is mommy's sworn enemy. Time to pick your poison. How 'bout a belt? It's a classic... Well, we could go with the old hickory stick. It's a cliche, but it's pretty effective. I know, we'll go with the spatula. The holes give it less wind resistance; moves faster.
Scavo kids: No! No! No! No!
Lynette: Guys, guys, guys, hey my hands are tied. Thieves get spanked. Just the way it works. Unless...
Porter: Unless what?
Lynette: For a first time offense, if you swear, cross your heart, that you will never, never steal again, and you write Mrs. McCluskey a letter of apology, I will let it slide.
Scavo kids: Okay! Yeh! We swear! Yeh! We swear!
Lynette: Alright, start with Dear Mrs. McCluskey.
Porter: Mommy, why are you smiling?
Lynette: Do you know what physiological warfare means?
Porter: No.
Lynette: Well, too bad for you

Gabrielle: It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.
Lynette: Even the limp ones aren't that ethical