"Don't Make Me Over"

When Meg gets turned down on a date, she heads with Lois to the mall for an extreme makeover. Meanwhile, Peter tries to start a band with the guys and when that fails, ends up performing with his family.

"Blind Ambition"

After Mort bowls a perfect game and Quagmire gets the key to city for performing CPR, Peter becomes jealous. He tries to get famous by swallowing the most nickels.

"Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High"

Brian becomes a substitute teacher at Chris' school and is moved to a classroom of troubled kids. Meanwhile, Chris falls for his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart.

"North by North Quahog"

Peter and Lois go on a second honeymoon. When Peter crashes their car, he poses as Mel Gibson and stays in his hotel suite.

"When You Wish Upon a Weinstein"

Peter prays for a Jewish guy to help him with his money woes and after befriending a Jewish accountant, Max Weinstein, Peter wants Chris to convert to guarantee his success in life.

"Family Guy Viewer Mail #1"

Brian and Stewie host an episode of Family Guy with three stories from fan requested stories: No Bones About It, Supergriffins and Li'l Griffins.

"Road to Europe"

Stewie becomes obsessed with a British kids show and runs away to join the cast and Brian chases after him. Peter and Lois go to see a KISS concert.

"Stuck Together, Torn Apart"

Peter becomes jealous of Lois reuniting with an old boyfriend and the two go through a trial separation where he hooks up with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian get stuck together after Stewie plays with industrial strength glue.

"From Method to Madness"

When Stewie signs up for an acting class, he's paired up with a stuck-up child star, Olivia. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois object to Meg dating a nudist.

"Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows"

After getting a DUI, Brian is forced to care for a bitter old woman that used to be a jingle singer. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard and discovers a family of rare swallows living in it.

Family Guy Quotes

Death Star Officer 1: Any attack made by the Rebels against this station would be a useless gesture, no matter what technical data they've obtained. This station is now the ultimate power in the universe.
Stewie (Darth Vader): That is fantastic! Terrific work! So no weaknesses at all, huh?
Death Star Officer 1: N- (considers) no.
Stewie (Darth Vader): You, uh, you hesitated there. Is there something I should know?
Death Star Officer 1: No, it's virtually indestructable, like 99.99 percent.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Uh...OK, wouldn't be doin' my job if I didn't ask what's the .01?
Death Star Officer 1: Well, I- I mean, there's this little hole, it was kind of an aesthetic choice by the architect, and if you shoot a laser into this hole, uh, the station blows up.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that sounds like a pretty big design flaw there.
Death Star Officer 1: No, no, no the hole's only two meters across.
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): Well, that's no bigger than a womp rat.
Death Star Officer 1: Exactly. And even to get within range of it, you have to skim along this whole trench, it's not a big deal.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Well, I mean, I mean, can't we board it up or, you know, put some plywood over it or something?
Death Star Officer 1: Well, that would look terrible! I mean, we got to think about re-sale.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Re-sale? Wh-what are you talking about? This property is right above Sunset, the value's only gonna go up.
Death Star Officer 1: Lord Vader, your inside references to the Los Angeles real estate market haven't given you the clairvoyance to turn a profit on that condo in Glendale, nor has it-
(Vader begins choking him with the Force)
Stewie (Darth Vader): I find your lack of faith disturbing. That property is in a prime location, twenty minutes to the beach, twenty minutes to downtown!
Death Star Officer 1: (choking) There's nothing to do downtown!
Mayor Adam West (Grand Moff Tarkin): Enough of this! Vader, release him.
Stewie (Darth Vader): As you wish. (releases the officer, who collapses on the table, gasping for air) All right, so we gonna plug up that hole?
Death Star Officer 2: Yeah, we can get it done tomorrow if price is no object.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Eyuuuuh...
Death Star Officer 2: We'll get estimates.
Stewie (Darth Vader): Yeah, get estimates, yeah ha, yeah, yeah ha ha, yeah.

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)