The Simpsons

Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 20)

Bart: (to Paris Texan) Hey Paris! I saw an ugly part of your body on the internet, your face!
 • Rating: Unrated

(After the family puts their special items in the safe, smoke begins coming out.)
Bart: What's that comin' out of the safe?
Homer: I don't know--Maybe the Krusty doll accidentally turned on the car's headlights, which focused on the cologne bottle, causing it to boil and soon explode.
Lisa: Dad, that's ridiculous!
(The safe blows apart from the explosion.)
Krusty Doll: What's the deal with this California pizza? If I wanted cheese and fruit--(As it burns from the flames and begins melting)--I'd...have...to...(Melts into a plastic puddle)
Marge: (Devastated when the family album falls apart into ashes) Nooooooo! It's gone! That family album was a record of my accomplishments! It's like what a resume is for a man.
Lisa: I agree, Mom. It's very sad. But we'll have to move on. It's not like we can restage all our family photos.
Marge: (Becoming delighted upon the idea) Restage the photos!
Bart: Lisa you fool, you've doomed us all!
(Marge quickly puts a baby bonnet on him and snaps a shot with her camera as he cries out before she takes a second shot, which is among the first ones seen in the new family album.)
Bart: Nooooooo!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Bart and Lisa are playing Ping Pong.)
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Build a fart, I love it! (Laughs hard)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Now we can enjoy Boxingham Palace in peace.
Bart: Want to melt it with a hose?
Lisa: Sure I guess, a couple of birds pooped on it over here.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: What kind of lunch is this? A drawing of a sandwich.
Bart: All I got is Grandpa's medication.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Then I had this crazy dream that my family were all just cartoon characters and that our success led to some crazy propaganda network called Fox News.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Bart, honey, this is all we can afford for now. If it doesn't work, maybe when you're an adult you can pay some lady to make you happy for an hour.
Bart: Ya know, I'm pretty sure I will.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: They hanged him for murder and buried him in an unmarked grave. When they came back the next day, the whole cemetery was missing!
 • Rating: Unrated

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