South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralEric Cartman Quotes
Let's do this. Stan, hook up my bra.
Don't let society dictate who you can and can't be with. Kyle, I love you man! You can run all you want, try and pretend you like girls, but dammit, when we kiss there's magic! Don't let it go, Kyle!
Cartman: I'm a racist, huh? I'm a racist? It's how nature works, Kyle. Look, what about Luke Covina and Maria Sanchez? Is it a coincidence they ended up together?
Stan: Actually, I heard they're together because they got locked in the school gym overnight a few nights ago.
Cartman: Oh, did they? I hadn't heard about that.
Cupid Cartman: Teehee, that was us, remember, Eric?
Cartman: Shh, quiet Cupid me!
Kyle: What the hell are you doing telling people we're a gay couple?
Cartman: Oh, heard that through the grapevine, did you?
Cartman: Guys! Guys! Get outside! It's the Batmobile! Batmobile you guys!
Jimmy: I don't see a Batmobile.
Love is like taking a dump, Butters. Sometimes it works itself out. But sometimes, you need to give it a nice hard slimy push.
Anyway, thanks a lot, and stay away from my man, bitch.
Aw, Token's shy! Oh my god, that is adorable.
If I crap in a forest, the blood will attract beavers, Kyle!
Cold sore is what girls call it, Kenny. It's actually herpes.
Cartman: I have balls.
Red: Yeah, little swishy boba tea balls.
Cartman: Still balls.
No no no, I'm telling you guys, music videos have devolved to nothing but pretty girls, wearing skintight clothes, singing about their vajayjay. Used to be chicks talking about relationships, now it's all my vajayjay this, my vajayjay that. But clearly that's what sells.
