Ma'am, the Crack Baby Athletic Association is a storied institution that was founded over twelve days ago.

Screw you sir, I'm going home.

I don't make up the rules. I just think them up and write them down.

Do you believe your child is male or female or too hideously deformed to tell?

Somebody's gotta eat all that bacon, Kyle... might as well be us. Welcome to the firm.

Jimmy: I promise there's not going to be any comedy awards next year.
Cartman: Or will there be?

Jimmy, do you know what happened to the last people Germans were pissed off at? Tell him, Kyle.

Can you at least take me to a grease monkey so I can at least get lubed up before you f**k me. Or at at least a little courtesy lick. How about a little courtesy lick next time you try to f**k me?

It does email and web browsing and shits in Kyle's mouth? This is the greatest thing ever invented.

Can at least pull over here and get some dinner? Because I at least like to be wined and dined before I get f**ked.

Why don't you at least go across and the street and get some condoms? Because we should at least be safe if you're going to f**k me.

Can I at least borrow some of your lipstick mom? Because I at least want to look pretty the next time you f**k me.

South Park Quotes

No no no, I'm telling you guys, music videos have devolved to nothing but pretty girls, wearing skintight clothes, singing about their vajayjay. Used to be chicks talking about relationships, now it's all my vajayjay this, my vajayjay that. But clearly that's what sells.

Cartman

Kyle: You can't die Mr Hankey, you can't.
Mr. Hankey: (Cough)
Kyle, before I go, there's something I must tell you. Come closer Closer
Kyle: What is it Mr Hankey?
Mr. Hankey: There is another Skywalker. Uhhh (Mr Hankey dies)
Kyle: Nooo
Mr. Hankey: (Mr Hankey appears to be alive) Wait Kyle.
Kyle: What is it Mr Hankey?
Mr. Hankey: Come closer
Kyle: What is it?
Mr. Hankey: Closer
Kyle: Yes?
Mr. Hankey: Closer! (Pause) One time, when you were sleeping, I put myself in your mouth and had my friend take a picture. Uhhh (Mr Hankey dies)
Kyle: Nooo