Ma'am, the Crack Baby Athletic Association is a storied institution that was founded over twelve days ago.

Screw you sir, I'm going home.

I don't make up the rules. I just think them up and write them down.

Do you believe your child is male or female or too hideously deformed to tell?

Somebody's gotta eat all that bacon, Kyle... might as well be us. Welcome to the firm.

Jimmy: I promise there's not going to be any comedy awards next year.
Cartman: Or will there be?

Jimmy, do you know what happened to the last people Germans were pissed off at? Tell him, Kyle.

Can you at least take me to a grease monkey so I can at least get lubed up before you f**k me. Or at at least a little courtesy lick. How about a little courtesy lick next time you try to f**k me?

It does email and web browsing and shits in Kyle's mouth? This is the greatest thing ever invented.

Can at least pull over here and get some dinner? Because I at least like to be wined and dined before I get f**ked.

Why don't you at least go across and the street and get some condoms? Because we should at least be safe if you're going to f**k me.

Can I at least borrow some of your lipstick mom? Because I at least want to look pretty the next time you f**k me.

South Park Quotes

Stan: Hey Cartman, how come the birthday invitation you gave me says "Green Megaman."
Kyle: Yeah, mine says "Red Megaman."
Cartman: Right, that's what your supposed to get me for my birthday.
Stan: DUDE!?!?! You're not supposed to tell people what to give you for your birthday!
Kyle: Yeah, that's weak.
Cartman: Look it's very simple guys. "Green Megaman" goes with "Red Megaman" and "Yellow Megaman" to make the "Ultra Mega Megaman." You have to have all 3 or it doesn't work, see?
Stan: Up yours Cartman, I'll get you whatever the hell I want.
Cartman: Ohh!!! so maybe you don't want to have any of my moms Cake, Pie, and Ice cream then.
Stan: Oh "Gre..Green Megaman" it is.
Cartman: Now as you can see Kenny, you are to get me "Yellow Megaman," that's because the "Yellow Megaman" is the cheapest one and I know how poor your family is.
(Damien walks to table)
Stan: Hey!?!?! what do you think you're doing new kid?
Cartman: Yeah, you can't sit with us weirdo.
Damien: Infidel's!!!! I will turn you all into "Beasts of Burden"!
Kyle: You can't sit with us new kid, go find another table!
(Damien goes and sits with Pip)
Cartman: (sighs) Anyway Kenny, "Yellow Megaman" is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments in a year, or two.
(Stan, Kyle, and Cartman laugh. Kenny punches Cartman)
Cartman: AYYY!!!!

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman