Glenn Quagmire Quotes
Quagmire (C-3PO): Hey, mind if I turn on the radio?
Announcer: WTAT Tatooine's all-talk radio.
Rush Limbaugh: My good friends, the liberal galactic media is at it again, they never stop. Now they're trying to convince us that Hoth is melting. Well that's crazy, just trying to scare us. Well if that wasn't enough to get you mad, we now have news that Lando Calrissian has been made the chief administrator of the Bespin mining facility. Gee, I wonder how he got that job. Well let me tell you how he got that job, affirmative action strikes again. The time is 8:50.
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Chris (Luke): Well, I guess I'll go bulls-eye some womp rats in my T-16.
Quagmire (C-3PO): My god, you shoot small animals for fun? That's the first indicator of a serial killer, ya freak.
Chris (Luke): There's two suns and no women, what the hell am I supposed to do?
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Hey, thanks for the sex, early nineties printer.Quagmire (C-3PO)
(Printer prints out a heart slowly)
- Permalink: Hey, thanks for the sex, early nineties printer.
Herbert (Obi-Wan): Mos Eisley spaceport, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Cleveland (R2-D2): My sister Regina-D2 lives here.
Quagmire (C-3PO): Is she single?
Cleveland (R2-D2): She's a lez-bot.
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Chris (Luke): R2, what are you doing out here?
Cleveland (R2-D2): Beep boop beep.
Quagmire (C-3PO): He says there are several creatures approaching from the southeast.
Cleveland (R2-D2): That's not what I said. I said there ain't a pack of menthols on this planet.
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Ya hear that? It sounds like we're being boarded from the rear, and not the "Hey take a deep breath, let's experiment" kind of boarded from the rear.</i> Quagmire (C-3PO)
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Stormtrooper: The Death Star is getting closer!
Quagmire (C-3PO): And Leia's getting l-a-a-arger! (jiggles Leia's stomach)
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Lois: Peter used to be so passionate, but now he doesn't seem to be interested in me.
Quagmire: Lois, if I may, Peter doesn't you. As a friend, I think you deserve to be with someone who knows how to be a gentleman.
Lois: Oh, Glen. You're so sweet. (They embrace) Something's poking me.
Quagmire: It's alright. It's just my wang.
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(Lois walks out of Quagmire's house to pick up a letter from the mailbox)
Peter: Lois, what the hell? I'm gone for one night and you sleep with Quagmire?!
Lois: Mr. Griffin, what I do with my husband is none of your business.
Quagmire: Morning, Pete. Hope you and Molly can still join us for dinner tonight. Baby, Let's go play "Schoolgirl & Guy Who Has Sex With Schoolgirl".
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