Grampa Simpson Quotes (Page 5)
Season 5, Episode 21: "Lady Bouvier's Lover"
Bart and Lisa: (Singing dull) Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
Grampa: Sing it like you mean it!
(Grampa plays harmonica and the kids sing it with style.)
Bart and Lisa: What kind of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Bart: Fat kids.
Lisa: Skinny kids.
Bart: Kids who climb on rocks.
Lisa: Tough kids.
Bart: Sissy kids.
Milhouse: (Sticks head from the window.) Even kids with chicken pox love--
Family: Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
(Grampa stops playing harmonica.) The dogs kids love to bite!
Lisa: Doesn't this family know any songs that aren't commercials?
(Everyone except Lisa starts singing the "Chicken Tonight" jingle.)
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 17: "Bart Gets an Elephant"
Grampa: Hey, they're playing the elephant song.
Jasper: I love that. Reminds me of elephants.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 16: "Homer Loves Flanders"
Grampa: Let's sacrifice him to our god! Come on, we did it all the time in the thirties.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 15: "Deep Space Homer"
Lisa: Come on, Dad. You can make it!
Grampa: Oh, of course he'll make it, it's TV.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 14: "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy"
Grampa: Mr. Peterson, you can take this job and...fill it! And one more thing...I never once washed my hands. That's your policy, not mine.
• Rating: Unrated
Grampa: Do we sell... French... fries?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Grampa: Looking at that tired old freak has made me realize I'm no spring chicken myself. I can feel death's clammy hand on my shoulder. Wait, that's my hand.
• Rating: Unrated
Grampa: Why are you people avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of Death?
Homer: Yes, but there's more. Dad, I love you, but...you're a weird, sore-headed old crank and nobody likes you!
• Rating: Unrated
Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
Grampa: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.
Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Grampa: I shouldn't be listening to complaints, I should be making them with you guys! The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason; to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything He's made.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 112