The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Homer Simpson Quotes
Marge! I was right! Everybody is whatever I think they are!
Bashir: (holding Bart's slingshot) Bart forgot this, sir.
Homer: Sir? That's the kind of respect you'd have to strangle out of an American kid.
Lisa: You can't keep Juliet and me apart! I'll... I'll disobey!
Marge: I'm Bart Simpson's mother, do you think you've got any tricks I haven't seen. ((Leaves the room)
((Lisa climbs out the window and slides down the tree only to land in a laundry basket being held by Marge)
Marge: Bart Simpson: Age 3. (Both go back inside)
(Bart comes out of a hidden door in the tree dressed in black)
Bart Simpson: Age 10. Mhwahahahaha!
(After it's learned in Homer's alternate reality that he and Marge wouldn't have Bart, Lisa, and Maggie.)
Marge: Well that's what's missing. Our lives would be horrible without the kids.
Homer: Uh, yeah, that must be it. This is the best of all possible worlds. Blah, blah, blah and--I wanna live in the sauce!
(He jumps into the sauce pot, the Sauce Chef pulls him out.)
Sauce Chef: If you could live in the sauce, don't you think I would live in the sauce?! Stupid!
Bart: I can't believe we have to start another year at school. I never learned anything at that suck shack.
Homer: Hey! Who taught you language like that?
Bart: Kid at school.
Homer: So you did learn something!
Ned: Homer Simpson, I show you pity, and how do you repay me? With a kick in the kididdlehopper!
Homer: (laughs) "Kididdlehopper"!
Ned: That's not funny, it's how I swear!
AHHHH! WHY DID I BRING THE BABY AND THE DOG TO THE POISON STORRRRREEEE!!?
Homer
(Homer places Maggie on the steps of a convent.)
Homer: Now I need to leave you where you'll be safe: Under the watchful eyes of God. And I'll be watching you too, in case God's busy making tornadoes or not existing.
Marge: (to waiters) Put down two basket's of bread, but only one plate of butter. That will stimulate conversation.
Homer: What if we....?
Marge: (growls) There is no we in Wedding!
Homer: But there is Marge, the first two letters.
Homer: Marge, maybe you need to take a break from Wedding Planning. I think your becoming a... Bridezilla!
Marge: Bridezilla? (gasps) A combination of Bride and Godzilla!?
Bart: (crying) I can't believe Jenny dumped me.
Homer: Now, now, boy. Girls come and go, but you'll always have your family.
Bart: Ahhhh! (starts sobbing loudly)
Homer: (also starts sobbing) You're right! You're right!
Marge: Please, just stay there until Bart graduates from high school.
Homer: Ohhh, that's another 20 or 30 years!
