Lois Griffin Quotes (Page 10)
Season 7, Episode 8: "Family Gay"
Lois: Peter, where have you been? You left for the market six hours ago! Did you get the beans?
Peter: Lois, I've got something better! You know how you've always wanted a real diamond engagement ring?
Lois: [gasps, touched] Oh my God!
Peter: That's right, I've bought a horse!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 6, Episode 8: "McStroke"
Lois: Peter, have you seen Brian?
Peter: (with his back to her, his voice is muffled) No, Lois. I have not.
Lois: Well, I haven't seen him since this morning and I--what is that on your head?
(Peter turns to reveal Brian duct taped to his face)
Peter: It's a mustache, Lois! What, you've never seen a mustache before?!
Brian: (calmly)Lois, would you mind calling the police or something?
Peter: Quiet, mustache!
• Rating: Unrated
Peter: Black mail call!
Lois: Peter, you were supposed to collect Cleveland's mail, not go through it.
Peter: Lois, black people aren't like you and I, and I find that hilarious!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 7, Episode 4: "Baby Not on Board"
Lois: Here's a little tip: If your instinct tells ya to do somethin', don't do it. If your instinct tells ya not to do somethin', IT'S PROBABLY THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 6, Episode 12: "Long John Peter"
Lois: Peter, did you tell Chris to act like a jerk to this girl?
Peter: Um, define "Chris".
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Lois: Chris, honey, what's wrong?
Chris: Anna took a dump on me.
Lois: What?!
Chris: Yeah, she broke up with me.
Lois: Oh, she dumped you. That's what you meant to say.
Chris: What's the difference?
Lois: Well, what you said first was... well, I mean, when two grown-ups love each other very much, sometimes they show it by... never mind.
• Rating: 4.4 / 5.0
Season 6, Episode 11: "The Former Life of Brian"
Lois: I don't know, Brian. Raising a child is a very rewarding experience.
Peter: You know what else is rewarding, Lois? Shutting your Vag.
Lois: What?
Peter: What?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 6, Episode 10: "Play It Again, Brian"
Lois: (after arriving at the resort) Brian, this is wonderful. I feel like one of the Kennedys. You know, the over privileged drunk ones, not the socially responsible dead ones.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lois: (after reading Peter's note) Well, heh, it looks like I am free. Hey, you know what might be fun? How bout we just order room service and watch a couple of bad movies?
Brian: Yeah, that does sound like fun. I'll go rent Vanilla Sky.
Lois: I said a bad movie, not an abortion.
• Rating: Unrated
Peter: I am so glad Brian brought us out here, Lois. He's a real pal, you know that?
Lois: Well, it's actually Brian I need to talk to you about.
Peter: Boy, he's a hell of a guy, isn't he? He's the one guy I know I can trust.
Lois: Brian tried to have sex with me.
(pause)
Peter: Was he bigger than me?
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 343
