Lois Griffin Quotes
Peter: (very drunk) Did I miss Byron's reward?
Lois: "Brian's award". And yes, you did!
Peter: Brian, you've been a good son, and I'm sorry you're so sick.
- Permalink: Did I miss Byron's reward? Brian's award. And yes, you did! ...
Brian: Lois, I really like to talk about this.(Brian starts scratching the door)
Lois: No! Stop scratching the door!
- Permalink: Lois, I really like to talk about this. No! Stop scratching th...
Peter: I am so glad Brian brought us out here, Lois. He's a real pal, you know that?
Lois: Well, it's actually Brian I need to talk to you about.
Peter: Boy, he's a hell of a guy, isn't he? He's the one guy I know I can trust.
Lois: Brian tried to have sex with me.
Peter: Was he bigger than me?
- Permalink: I am so glad Brian brought us out here, Lois. He's a real pal, y...
Lois: (after reading Peter's note) Well, heh, it looks like I am free. Hey, you know what might be fun? How bout we just order room service and watch a couple of bad movies?
Brian: Yeah, that does sound like fun. I'll go rent Vanilla Sky.
Lois: I said a bad movie, not an abortion.
- Permalink: Well, heh, it looks like I am free. Hey, you know what might be ...
(after arriving at the resort) Brian, this is wonderful. I feel like one of the Kennedys. You know, the over privileged drunk ones, not the socially responsible dead ones.
- Permalink: Brian, this is wonderful. I feel like one of the Kennedys. You k...
Lois: Peter, someone's been using your credit card!
Peter: Lois, I hear what you're saying, but like my credit card, I have a very low rate of interest.
- Permalink: Peter, someone's been using your credit card! Lois, I hear wha...
Peter: Black mail call!
Lois: Peter, you were supposed to collect Cleveland's mail, not go through it.
Peter: Lois, black people aren't like you and I, and I find that hilarious!
- Permalink: Black mail call! Peter, you were supposed to collect Cleveland...
Lois: Peter, have you seen Brian?
Peter: (with his back to her, his voice is muffled) No, Lois. I have not.
Lois: Well, I haven't seen him since this morning and I--what is that on your head?
(Peter turns to reveal Brian duct taped to his face)
Peter: It's a mustache, Lois! What, you've never seen a mustache before?!
Brian: (calmly)Lois, would you mind calling the police or something?
Peter: Quiet, mustache!
- Permalink: Peter, have you seen Brian? No, Lois. I have not. Well, I h...
Lois: Wow Peter, I gotta say, you've really been true to your word about treating Meg better.
Peter: She's my only daughter, Lois. She needs to be protected, like a rare gemstone, or the herniated scrotum of an older gentleman.
- Permalink: Wow Peter, I gotta say, you've really been true to your word abo...