Family Guy

Lois Griffin Quotes (Page 8)

Leia/Lois: May I have everyone's attention please? We're evacuating into outer space with literally infinite directions in which to flee. However, we have decided that our transports will travel directly towards the fleet of stormtroopers. Any questions?
Rebel: Yeah, um, is there someone from the military we can talk to, a man perhaps?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Han/Peter: Well your manage-to-keep-me-around-a-little-longer ness, it looks like you've managed to keep me around a little longer.
Leia/Lois: I assure you, I had nothing to do with it.
Han/Peter: Yeah right. I think you just can't stand to let a fat guy like me out of your sights.
Leia/Lois: [agitated] Why you stuck up, half witted, scruffy lookin' nerf herder!
Han/Peter: You can't use that word! Only we can use that word!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Here's the deal: anything he lops off we get to bring home to Brian.
Lois: That's very green of you, Peter.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: How do you know he's gay?
Peter: A lot of little things: the way he talks, his mannerisms, and he has the complete DVD set of Sex and the City between his butt cheeks.
Lois: Peter, no he didn't.
Peter: He had the DVD set. I was just being colorful with the rest of it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Anything I could do to make your life easier.
Lois: Well you could always grab the vacuum and clean the living room floor.
Chris: Sure, I'll take care of that. Are you running off to your job?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: Brian, your script... it was enchanting. This brian griffin? I've never met this Brian Griffin. I would have told you last night, but I was 100% sure you ripped it off. After spending the last 18 hours on the Internet and in libraries trying to find traces of it somewhere, I couldn't find a thing.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: I bet you taste like Mountain Dew and Starburst.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Peter: She ain't what she used to be. Once you get those pants off it's like two sagging breast hams and a slice of pizza.
Lois: Thank you, Peter, that makes me feel terrific.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Lois, you have a gray hair.
Lois: What?
Peter: Inch and a half left of your part.
Lois: Oh my god, you're right.
Peter: You know I don't mind so much that you're aging, it's just the way you're shoving it down my throat.
Lois: Screw you Peter.
Peter: Wow, not today.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Richard Dawson: Name something you sit in.
Lois: A chair.
Stewie: My own feces.
Richard Dawson: Name a popular fruit.
Lois: Orange.
Stewie: Clay Aiken.
Richard Dawson: Something in your closet.
Lois: Shoes.
Stewie: A scary monster.
Richard Dawson: Your favorite holiday.
Lois: Christmas.
Stewie: 911.
Richard Dawson: Name something you do on the weekend.
Lois: Go to church.
Stewie: Black guys.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

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