Lois Griffin Quotes
Lois: Oh my god! I think Chris is having a heart attack!
Peter: We're not supposed to leave the table!
Lois: Chris, have you been drinking?
Chris: Yes, have you been aging?
No, no, Peter, you're still you; you're just a teenager, you're not switching genders.
I'm pretty sure our washer machine is pregnant! I'm not even sure how that's scientifically possible!
Tina Fey: I'm better than Jesus!
Lois: Yes, Tina Fey, you're better than Jesus.
Who did Jesus hang around? Mary Magdalene. Who was she? A
prostitute. Which means if they had cameras back then, I bet she
would've done a porno.
I think there was actually more wind back then.
Oh my god! I thought we were friends! The kind of really good
friends that communicate with each other poorly through Facebook!
No, you're a lady bigshot... like Miss Piggy!
Lois [as Stewie aims a blaster at her]: Well, let me just say, it's
nice to be standing here with no one trying to murder me.
Stewie: Yea, no you're fine...
Brian: Oh, my God. Fred Savage is the greatest actor in the world!
Savage: That's all I ever wanted to be known for.
Lois: Is it okay if we run this story instead?
Savage: Sure thing!
Daniel Stern: [as the voice-over from "The Wonder Years"] It was just then that I knew that things were finally going my...
Savage: [angrily] I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE!!!
Lois: Peter, where have you been? You left for the market six hours ago! Did you get the beans?
Peter: Lois, I've got something better! You know how you've always wanted a real diamond engagement ring?
Lois: [gasps, touched] Oh my God!
Peter: That's right, I've bought a horse!