Stewie: You should know that Mom has emotionally let you go. It won't be long before she takes another.
Peter: Owww, my head!
Stewie: She already has two cell phones.

Hey, was Beowulf a Teen Wolf sequel with Scott Baio?

Peter: Lois, do you have any idea what i'm looking at right now?
Lois: Peter, we're not doing this again.
Peter: I am at Harvard, the smartest school in the country. And they have...
Lois: Peter, breakfast for dinner is anarchy!
Peter: It's fun, Lois! It's whimsical!
Lois: It's ridiculous! Pancakes are not a nighttime food!
Peter: You're ridiculous!

Hey, can you read that page with all the little paragraphs about dead people? They're hilarious.

Hey Brian, can you believe I found this blazer on the side of the highway?

Okay, try this. Hit up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start; then we'll have unlimited lives.

Peter: If radio DJs have taught me anything about radio, it's that you gotta do two things: turn it up and rip the knob off!

Brian: I think, I think we're launching!
Lois: Oh my god, everyone strap yourselves in! Stewie, hold my hand.
Stewie: No thanks, I prefer to die giving you the finger.
Peter: If this is what it takes to get out of Florida, fine.

Look at this, Lois. A week ago we called him stupid, and now he's giving tours of the space shuttle.

Peter: On the way back, we're stopping at that Down syndrome camp we passed.
Lois: Peter, that was the University of Florida.

This is a Hamilton Beach blender we got on our wedding day. It keeps coming back to us in a vicious regifting cycle.

TV Narrator: We now return to Breaking Bad. (hypnotic music plays) You will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone you know.
Peter: I will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone I know.
TV Narrator: Breaking Bad is the best show you've ever seen except maybe The Wire.
Peter: Breaking Bad is the best show I've ever seen except maybe The Wire.
TV Narrator: You will never stop talking about Breaking Bad or The Wire.
Peter: I will never stop talking about Breaking Bad or The Wire.

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Meg: Do you like Coldplay?
Tobey: Am I a dull white guy? Yes, I like Coldplay!