Peter Griffin Quotes
Meg: Dad, sometimes I wonder why you even had a family.
Peter: I don't know...I was dating your mother, I don't like the way condoms feel, next thing you know, I got a mortgage, a kid, and a crappy job at a toy factory.
Meg: In the last election, you voted for Mighty Mouse.
Peter: Time to put the might mouse in the White House.
Peter: Let me help you! I'm great at finding stuff. Last night, I found Lois's g-spot!
Lois: No, he didn't!
Peter: I didn't think she was home.
Lesbians have regular carpets, too, you pervs.
Wow, Chicago--the San Francisco treat.
I hate to sound like every woman ever, but I'm depressed.
Peter: I had an affair and I think we should talk about it.
Lois: Peter, jamming yourself into a grapefruit is not an affair.
Peter: Fresh air is bad for a kid. Look at Michael J. Fox.
Peter: I don't know.
Peter: I am going to the Clam and I am getting my booth back! And Meg, you're gay.
Meg: No, I'm not.
Peter: You like guys, right?
Peter: That's called being gay.
Scumbag: Smells like this guy's already wet himself.
Peter: Don't flatter yourself--that was from this morning.
We're supposed to stick together! Like goatee guys at a barbecue!
Says 'Glenn Quagmire.' But if you squint and imagine it says 'Peter Griffin,' it says 'Peter Griffin'!