Family Guy

Peter Griffin Quotes (Page 6)

Brian: I think, I think we're launching!
Lois: Oh my god, everyone strap yourselves in! Stewie, hold my hand.
Stewie: No thanks, I prefer to die giving you the finger.
Peter: If this is what it takes to get out of Florida, fine.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Look at this, Lois. A week ago we called him stupid, and now he's giving tours of the space shuttle.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: On the way back, we're stopping at that Down syndrome camp we passed.
Lois: Peter, that was the University of Florida.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: This is a Hamilton Beach blender we got on our wedding day. It keeps coming back to us in a vicious regifting cycle.
 • Rating: Unrated

TV Narrator: We now return to Breaking Bad. (hypnotic music plays) You will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone you know.
Peter: I will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone I know.
TV Narrator: Breaking Bad is the best show you've ever seen except maybe The Wire.
Peter: Breaking Bad is the best show I've ever seen except maybe The Wire.
TV Narrator: You will never stop talking about Breaking Bad or The Wire.
Peter: I will never stop talking about Breaking Bad or The Wire.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Meg: But Dad, I still don't understand that whole Immaculate Conception thing. How can anyone get pregnant without having sex?
Peter: Oh, there's lots of stories of that, Meg. Cleveland's got a cousin who had 8 girlfriends get pregnant, and he says he's not responsible for a single one.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: (as Joseph) Come on, this is our seventh date! It's completely natural! Birds do it! Bees do it! Dinosaurs whom we live alongside do it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: (narrating) And so Mary and Joseph began their courtship. But even after several dates, Jospeh couldn't get to first base. Not just because Mary was a virgin, but because baseball would not be invented for 1800 years and no one knew what the hell he was talking about.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: (as Joseph) Oh my God, look at that body. Can't you just imagine her standing on people's front lawns inside a cut-in-half bathtub?
Brian: (as Robbie) You should go talk to her and see if she can talk.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: (as Joseph) So I went to see that new Oedipus play last week. Took my mother. Talk about an awkward ride home. Barely got a goodnight kiss.
 • Rating: Unrated

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