Peter Griffin Quotes
"What if Bono had been too afraid to wear sunglasses…then nobody would know about Africa!"
"I used to love Duff when I was younger, but I haven't even had it in like 13 years."
Brian: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: Playing Unga Bunga. It's the championship.
Stewie: Go away! This is why Zillow estimates our house at $4.
I'm glad we're staying together. Honestly, I don't know what I would do on my own. Like, I literally have no idea where food comes from. Is it that guy? Is he the food man?
Did you see that? My dog had a gun.
Lois: Peter, we gotta go talk to Donna.
Peter: Alright, but you need to cool down first, Lois. Find a way to channel your anger. What I do is throw a shot put into a crowd and make it look like an accident.
Peter: I'm having an affair.
Lois: That's ridiculous.
Peter: It's not ridiculous, it's Cybill Shepherd. She's attainable for a guy like me now.
Hey, Lois! Guess who made 15 baskets at the county fair? Some kid we beat up! What a great day!
Meg: Dad, sometimes I wonder why you even had a family.
Peter: I don't know...I was dating your mother, I don't like the way condoms feel, next thing you know, I got a mortgage, a kid, and a crappy job at a toy factory.
Meg: In the last election, you voted for Mighty Mouse.
Peter: Time to put the might mouse in the White House.
Peter: Let me help you! I'm great at finding stuff. Last night, I found Lois's g-spot!
Lois: No, he didn't!
Peter: I didn't think she was home.
Lesbians have regular carpets, too, you pervs.