Family Guy

Peter Griffin Quotes (Page 8)

Peter: If he's such a bad guy, why's he on a magazine?
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: I tell you, this obituary came out great. "Carter Pewterschmidt died today of the disease cancer. In lieu of flowers, please send carnival rides to Peter Griffin at 31 Spooner Street." If we get just one ride out of this, it will have been a success.
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: Baldness is for women's crotches, not men's heads.
Peter: There ya go, that's pretty gross.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Listen, Quagmire. We hate you now.
Joe: Yeah, you used to be fun.
Peter: Yeah, now you're always either preparing for a colonoscopy or just coming back from a colonoscopy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: Hey slow down, drive like hell, you'll get there!
Peter: Quagmire, what the hell are you doing?
Quagmire: I'm letting all these hot rodders know this is a neighborhood, not a speedway track!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Come on, it's not so bad. You could always kill yourself.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Wow, I guess all this time Quagmire should've been saying "wiggity!"
Joe: Hah!
Peter: No, but he is our friend.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Okay, Dick Wolf. Make the same Law and Order six times. Oh, and also, could you marry Matt Weiner? Because I want your name to be Dick Weiner.
Dick Wolf: Okay, but can I go by Dick Wolf Weiner?
Peter: Oh my god, yes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: JJ Abrams, you take wonder and complexity and present it in a way that no one can possibly understand.
JJ Abrams: I've got an alien that goes back in time and encounters a koala bear in an Eastern European town.
Peter: Totally confusing. Do it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: I'm the guy who ruined television, and I'm the guy who's gonna fix it!
Homer Simpson: Guys, I broke television! And now you have to help me fix it!
Peter: Haha, this looks like this is one we beat you to!
 • Rating: Unrated

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