Peter Griffin Quotes
Peter: What can me and you do together? (Lois giggles) Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talkin' about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money
- Permalink: What can me and you do together? (Lois giggles) Lois, you've got...
Lois: Peter, what did you promise me last night?
Peter: I wouldn't drink at the stag party.
Lois: And what did you do?
Peter: Drank at the stag pa-woah, I almost walked right into that one
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Peter: I told Lois I wouldn't drink.
Quagmire: Don't feel so bad Peter.
Peter: Hey, I never thought of it that way
- Permalink: I told Lois I wouldn't drink. Don't feel so bad Peter. Hey, ...
When she worries she says things like "I told you so" and "stop doing that, I'm asleep."
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Brian [in prison]: Uh, how was your shower?
Peter: Oh, I tell ya Brian, all the rumors about dropping the soap are true.
Peter: Oh yeah, you can't hold onto that thing to save your life. Oh, it was slipping all over the place. Guys were laughing
- Permalink: Uh, how was your shower? Oh, I tell ya Brian, all the rumors a...
Judge: Mr. Griffin, don't you think you should have alerted the government to such a gross over-payment?
Peter: Well uh, I was gonna call 'em but uh, my favorite episode of Diff'rent Strokes was on
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Now kids, daddy only drank so the Statue of Liberty would take her clothes off
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Peter [at communion]: Whoa! Is that really the blood of Christ?
Peter: Man, that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day, huh?
- Permalink: Whoa! Is that really the blood of Christ? Yes. Man, that guy...
Voiceover on TV: The Statue Of Liberty was a gift from France...
Guy: The Statue Of Liberty!?
Peter: Oh my kid must of taped over this for history class. Boys, boys! We're going to drink till she's hot.
Quagmire: Hey, thats just crazy enough to work
- Permalink: The Statue Of Liberty was a gift from France... The Statue Of ...
Mr. Weed: Peter! Are you sleeping on the job?
Peter: Uh uh...no!! There's uh...a...bug in my eye and I'm trying to suffocate him
- Permalink: Peter! Are you sleeping on the job? Uh uh...no!! There's uh......
Guys, our money problems are over; we are officially on welfare! Come on kids, help me scatter car parts on the front lawn
- Permalink: Guys, our money problems are over; we are officially on welfare!...
Meg: Mom, can I turn the heat up?
Lois: Don't touch the thermostat, Meg. Your father gets upset.
Meg: Come on. This thing goes up to 90.
[Meg adjusts it a little, and Peter suddenly comes into the room]
Peter: Who touched the thermostat?
Meg: God, how does he always know?
Peter: Brain implant, Meg. Every father's got one. Tells you when the kids mess with the dial.
Guy: My thing went off! Your thermostat okay?
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