Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPeter Griffin Quotes
Meg: Daddy, you must think I'm the worst daughter ever.
Peter: Oh no you're not honey. What about that fat girl from the Judds?
Face it, I'm a bad husband, a lousy father, and a snappy dresser
Come on everyone, we're late for the Bavarian Folk Festival. You know those Germans, if you don't join their party they'll come get ya!
Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first
Peter: Let's play a game called Takin' the fall for Daddy. If you win, I'll buy you a convertible when you get your license.
Meg: Really? Oh Daddy, now I love you again.
Peter: Oh, you're gonna make some Jewish guy a great wife
Meg: Dad, if I don't get my driver's license, I'll never have any boyfriends, I'll never get married and I'll have to adopt a kid like Rosie O'Donnell.
Peter: Meg ... are you implying that Rosie O'Donnell can't drive?
Peter: What can me and you do together? (Lois giggles) Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talkin' about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money
Lois: Peter, what did you promise me last night?
Peter: I wouldn't drink at the stag party.
Lois: And what did you do?
Peter: Drank at the stag pa-woah, I almost walked right into that one
Peter: I told Lois I wouldn't drink.
Quagmire: Don't feel so bad Peter.
Peter: Hey, I never thought of it that way
When she worries she says things like "I told you so" and "stop doing that, I'm asleep."
Brian [in prison]: Uh, how was your shower?
Peter: Oh, I tell ya Brian, all the rumors about dropping the soap are true.
Brian: Really?
Peter: Oh yeah, you can't hold onto that thing to save your life. Oh, it was slipping all over the place. Guys were laughing
Judge: Mr. Griffin, don't you think you should have alerted the government to such a gross over-payment?
Peter: Well uh, I was gonna call 'em but uh, my favorite episode of Diff'rent Strokes was on
