Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Phil Dunphy Quotes
How awesome are people?
I guess the couch did it to itself. I guess it came home after a tough day, lit up a cigarette and burned itself. Is that what happened? Because that makes no sense.
Phil: If things have gone differently in my life I could have been a pilot.... What would happen if you turn the remote off and on right again?
Jay: Yeah, you would have made a great pilot
Glen Whipple. My college rival. Captain of the cheer squad. Winner of every robot battle. Every second I spent with the guy just made me feel worse about myself. Only thing I could compete with him in was close-up magic.
Phil: You're just a worrier, like when you thought he was never gonna talk.
Claire: He was two, and all he could do was bark.
Phil: I understood him.
They're monsters, Claire! Deceitful, manipulative monsters and they need to be broken.
Luke, that is very offensive to women. Your mom works very hard, just now she works for us.
I've been practicing like crazy all of my cowboy skills, shootin', ropin', pancake eatin'. Why? Because sometimes I feel like Jay doesn't respect me as a man.
Sorry I fell asleep while you were describing the most boring party ever.
I love Westerns, the bloodier the better, that's my favorite type of movie - that and anything set against the backdrop of competitive cheerleading.
Cheerleading in my college was cool. The football players were so jealous they wouldn't even let me and my buddies, Trevor, Scotty and Ling go to their parties.
I am brave. Roller coasters? Love 'em. Scary movies? I've seen Ghostbusters,like, seven times. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah, I'm pretty much not afraid of anything...Except clowns. Never shared that with the fam, so...shh. Do have an image to maintain.I am not really sure where the fear comes from. My mother says it's because when I was a kid, I found a dead clown in the woods, but who knows?
