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The-simpsons

Bart: Where's Mrs. K?
Principal Skinner: Mrs. Krabappel had to go to Portland. Apparently the people she hired to deprogram her sister from that cult were an even worse cult.

Homer: I say this boy needs more homework. I don't have to do it with him, do I?
Principal Skinner: No.
Homer: Pile it on. I want him to be Korean by the time he's done.

Ralph: What's a battle?
Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, lets go.
Superintendent Chalmers: Did that boy say what's a battle?
Principal Skinner: No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.
Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle.
Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so--
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's?

Principal Skinner: May I interest you in a jello brick, sir? There's a grape in the center.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well, I'm not made of stone.

Over, under, in and out, that's what shoe tying is all about.

Well, Edna, for a school with no Asian kids, I think we put on a pretty darn good science fair.

Good evening, everyone, and welcome to a wonderful evening of theater and picking up after yourselves.

Principal Skinner: But first, our second prize winner and the recipient of this handsome shoe buffer... Ned Flanders.
Ned: (gasps)
Homer: Oh it's no fair, we'll never have a buffer!
Marge: We have one at home, you never use it.
Homer: Well, I want that one!

Ralph: Mr. Luther King had a dream. Dreams are where Elmo and Toy Story had a party, and I went there. Yay, my turn is over.
Principal Skinner: One of your best Ralph.

Skinner: Now It's never easy to come to a new school so let's make her feel right at home. Please say a big Elementary school hello to Samantha Stinky!
Samantha: Stanky.
Skinner: Oh, right....how embarrassing for you.

Skinner: It's a miracle nobody was hurt.
Otto: I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality.

Kent Brockman: But there's already one big winner...Our state school system, which gets fully half the profits from the library.
Skinner: Just think what we can buy with that money...History books that know how the Korean War came out. Math books that don't have that base six crap in them! And a state-of-the-art detention hall, where children are held in place by magnets.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 96 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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