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The-simpsons

Principal Skinner: Welcome to the first in a series of Saturday evening concerts.
Homer: Series? Awww.

Principal Skinner: Tonight Sherbert's, heh, heh, Shubert's Unfinished Symphony.
Homer: Oh, good, unfinished. This shouldn't take long.

Principal Skinner: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we have transcended incorrigible. I don't think suspension or expulsion will do the trick. I think it behooves us all to consider...deportation.
Marge: Deportation? You mean kick Bart out of the country?
Homer: Eh, hear him out, Marge.

You may find his accent peculiar. Certain aspects of his culture may seem absurd, perhaps even offensive. But I urge you all to give little Adil the benefit of the doubt. In this way, and only this way, can we hope to better understand our backward neighbors throughout the world.

Principal Skinner

(Principal Skinner pays a visit to the Simpson home.)
Marge: Homer, Principal Skinner is here.
Homer: Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. I'd get up, but the boy crippled me.
Skinner: Mm-hmm. I understand completely.

(Principal Skinner tries to convince Marge and Homer to place Bart in the student exchange program.)
Principal Skinner: Actually, he'd be staying in France, in a lovely chateau in the heart of the wine country.
Marge: But Bart doesn't speak French.
Principal Skinner: Oh, when he's fully immersed in a foreign language, the average child can become fluent in weeks!
Homer: Yeah, but what about Bart?
Principal Skinner: I'm sure he'll pick up enough to get by.

Principal Skinner: Whoever did this is in very deep trouble.
Martin: And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is 'W-I-E-N-E-R', although 'E-I' is an acceptable ethnic variant.

Ah, the fourth grade will now favor us with a melody...err...medley of holiday flavorites.

Principal Skinner: The fifth grade will now favor us with a scene from Charles Dickens' Christmas Carol.
Homer: How many grades does this school have!?

Skinner: It will be featured in the fifth grade play of the Crucible.
Superintendent Chalmers: Good seats still available and by that I mean seats in the back where you can fall asleep.

Bart Simpson, that is a rebuilt Yugoslavian engine and there's not even a Yugoslavia anymore. Bring it back at once.

Lisa Simpson in detention? My horoscope told me I'd see something interesting today, but I thought that'd be the horoscope itself

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 96 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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