Stan Marsh Quotes
Stan: (after the fake Kenny suffocates in Miss Crabtree's uterus) Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Sort of.
Kyle: Yeah! They killed Kenny... 's look-alike. You bastards!
- Permalink: Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Sort of. Yeah! They killed Kenn...
Kyle: Dude, I don't know if I'm going to like the new Eric Cartman.
Stan: Did you like the old one?
Kyle: Good point.
- Permalink: Dude, I don't know if I'm going to like the new Eric Cartman. ...
Stan: Where's Gobbles?
Cartman: I don't know.
(Stan and Kyle look at him doubtfully)
Cartman: I DON'T KNOW! I might have tried to have Gobbles crushed by a stage light but that's it, I'm not an asshole.
- Permalink: Where's Gobbles? I don't know. I DON'T KNOW! I might have ...
Stan: Kyle saved your life! The least you could do is thank him!
Cartman: Alright, alright......Kyle......(opens mouth. episode ends)
- Permalink: Kyle saved your life! The least you could do is thank him! Alr...
Bill Cosby: Well that does it! (takes out laser gun)
Kyle: Hey! What are you doing!
Bill Cosby: I'm afraid i have no other choice! I have to kill him!
Kyle: Oh! Ok.
Stan: That's fine. No wait!
Bill Cosby: What?
Stan: Can I do it?
Bill Cosby: Oh, I suppose... (give gun to Stan)
Stan: Sweet! Kiss your ass goodbye fat boy!
- Permalink: Well that does it! Hey! What are you doing! I'm afraid i ha...
Cop: Oh my God, now there's two!
Stan: No, I think the other one is Rosie O'Donnell.
- Permalink: Oh my God, now there's two! No, I think the other one is Rosie...
Cartman, you might as well open up, we're just going to have Bill Cosby bust the door down after he finishes having sex with your mom.
- Permalink: Cartman, you might as well open up, we're just going to have Bil...
We need to stand up to this new teacher and insert ourselves.
- Permalink: We need to stand up to this new teacher and insert ourselves.
(Stan, Kyle, and Kenny on seeing Ms. Choksondik.)
Stan: Whoa dude!
Kenny: Her titties are f**king huge!
Ms. Choksondik: (while writing on the board) My name is Ms. Choksondik.
Stan: More like Ms. Makes-me-sick.
- Permalink: Whoa dude! Her titties are f**king huge! My name is Ms. C...
(after Kenny dies) Who didn't see that coming?
- Permalink: Who didn't see that coming?
Stan: This is it the end of innocence this is the loss of that playful youth that all are parents warned us about
Kyle: I just didn't think it come so soon.
Cartman: Yeah, only now do we realize how we took the 3rd grade for granted.
Cartman: Everything was great in 3rd grade and now that it's all over we're starting to see how special it was
Cartman: (starts singing) Remember how it used to be? In the 3rd grade we used to laugh and play and cherish each day, in the 3rd grade we learned wondrous things with a teacher so nice sat on marshmallow desks with teddy bear smiles the world all seem to make sense but that sense seemed slowly but, seemed to fade after 3rd grade. In 3rd grade we used to write with crayons we would make sparkly pictures with glitter and glue we had warm cookies and hearts full of love and it wasn't a care in the world for me or for you. There's not in this life that I wouldn't trade just to go back for 1 minute to 3rd grade.
(Clyde starts crying)
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Sister Anne: Now, let me explain how Communion works. The priest will give you this round cracker, and he will say, "The Body of Christ," and then you eat it.
Cartman: Jesus was made of crackers?
Sister Anne: No.
Stan: But crackers are his body.
Sister Anne: Yes.
Sister Anne: In the Book of Mark, Jesus distributed bread and said, "eat this, for it is my body."
Cartman: So we won't go to hell as long as we eat crackers.
Sister Anne: Nononono!
Butters: Uh-well, uh-what are we eatin' then?
Sister Anne: The Body of Christ!
Stan: Nonono, I get it. Jesus wanted us to eat him, but he didn't want us to be cannibals, so he turned himself into crackers, and then told people to eat him.
Sister Anne: No!
Butters: Huh-I can't whistle if I eat too many crackers.
Sister Anne: Look: all you have to know is that when the priest gives you the cracker, you eat it! Okay?!
Kenny, Stan, Cartman: O-kay.
- Permalink: Now, let me explain how Communion works. The priest will give yo...
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