Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South-park

Stan: Was your dad in Scouts, Cartman? Oh yeah, you don't have a dad. (everyone laughs but Cartman)
Cartman: That's not funny! Jesus Christ!

(the boys protest)
Stan: What do we want?
Boys: Gays in Scouts!
Stan: When do we want it?
Timmy: Timmy!

Hey look! Tom Cruise has Sea Man on his back!

Stan: I made a promise to Jesus.
Randy: Stan, Jesus doesn't matter when Muhammad is involved.

Hey guys look, Tom Cruise is a fudge packer.

Randy: Hey Stan, my computer says we're not friends anymore.
Stan: My Facebook profile went rogue, dad. Had to go into the circuitry and do battle with it. I sent all my friends somewhere else.
Randy: Okay, so we're not friends then?
Stan: Fuck off dad.

Kyle: I could really use a friend right now.
Stan: Okay dude, I'm here for you.
Kyle: Okay, then get on Facebook and fertilize my crops.

Stan: Are you doing that stupid Facebook stuff again?
Cartman: Stupid Facebook stuff...
Stan: Why are you guys in here wasting your time? We're supposed out playing video games.

Stan: Mom says to stop trying to give yourself cancer.
Randy: Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan, tell mom it's okay.

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