Stewie: "Brian, if I take up roller derby what od you think my name should be? Bruisin' B. Anthony, Alicia Sleaze, or Quo Hag?"
Brian: "How about Harlot O'Scara?"
Stewie: "You dick, that's awesome."

"No worries. Now I can work at Hot Topic and make people sick as I ring up their purchases."

"All right, I guess this is the night b*tches die."

Stewie: "Brian, is this our vacation?"
Brian: "Yea."
Stewie: "Oh...are we trash?"
Brian: "Kinda."

Omg, everyone's already tweeting "Stewie Just Said That."

You know I'm still young enough that you can drop me off at the fire station, no questions asked.

Yes, it's nice to eat in a sea of white faces, isn't it?

Yeah, I had a giant mobile put in the sky so I can sleep wherever I want.

I don't understand why, if we're a galaxy far far away, we still have to change in Atlanta.

Now listen. Since your mom's out of town and I've got you for the weekend, I was thinking it would be kinda fun if the Emperor and I turned you over to the dark side of the Force!

Join us, Luke. Turn to the backside of the Force.

Can we at least put together a press release that says I resigned of my own accord to pursue other evil projects?

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley