Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXStewie Griffin Quotes
Bertram: You're about to be yesterday's hopscotch chalk on the sidewalk Stewie! (Pause) Erased!
Stewie: Yea, yea, I got the metaphor.
Bertram: Stewie!
Stewie: That's my name. Don't wear it out!
Leonardo da Vinci: Ahahahahaha!
Stewie: See, that's brand new to him.
Brian: So that means you're Italian.
Stewie: Of course! My love for spaghetti-o's and smoking on the toilet! It all makes sense!
Brian: Ew.
Stewie: Well, I'm off to the farmer's market. I've got to pick up some plutonium for a return pad, in case I decide to make another universe later.
Brian: Plutonium? At the farmer's market?
Stewie: Yep, I'm only using organic plutonium now. Think locally; buy organically.
Stewie: Hey slut, get me out of this.
Huh, that's weird. Black guys usually don't promote themselves.
Chris: Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great Florida whore, what does that mean?
Lois: Oh haha haha, Chris, I said that about Kate Hudson!
Stewie: You know, I always thought I'd make a great Florida whore.
Help me get some of Peter's tools out of the gay-rage.
She slams us against the monkey bars but none of us have the language skills to call her on it.
I see you have something new going on this week but there's a new teacher in pre-school who deactivates the camera and hits us.
Good lord! Am I a... porn baby?!
BILF! Total BILF! Yeah, it's going
totally good... I got about six pacifiers now.
Let's go find a big, black, sassy, nurse. There's always one
