Stewie Griffin Quotes (Page 13)
Season 8, Episode 8: "Dog Gone"
Brian: I can't believe our society values the life of a dog less than a human. It's infuriating.
Stewie: That is infuriating. Maybe you should go bark at a tree and then chew on your balls for an hour.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Stewie [on the phone]: You're the new housekeeper aren't you?
Consuela: Si.
Stewie: I don't want to point fingers but I'm missing about thousand dollars of play money.
Consuela: I take.
Stewie: What? You took it?
Consuela: Si.
Stewie: Then give it back.
Consuela: Come get it, bitch.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Stewie: Oh Mr. Swanson is sleep crawling again.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Stewie [about maid]: Why's she wearing make up like she's going out? Is this going out for them?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 8, Episode 7: "Jerome is the New Black"
Stewie: Sorry I was out of it. I'm sorry are we being robbed?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 8, Episode 6: "Quagmire's Baby"
Stewie: It's healthier than what they ate in the fifties...
Customer: Steak and doughnut sandwich please.
Waiter: You want cigarettes on that sandwich?
Customer: What do I look like a Mary? Of course I want cigarettes.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Stewie: Hey will you take me down to Baby Gap? I want to dress like a small douche.
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Season 8, Episode 5: "Hannah Banana"
Brian [about robot Miley Cyrus]: You think she does other things like a real girl, if you reprogram her?
Stewie: Brian's that sick. She's 16
Brian: I'm 8
Stewie: You're right, I'll see what I can do
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 8, Episode 3: "Spies Reminiscent of Us"
Dan Aykroyd: If these signatures are correct, Mayor West is located just a third of a kilometer that way just over this rise
Stewie: That's what you said a third of a kilometer ago
Dan Aykroyd: Perhaps you'd like to do something besides criticizing me and quoting my movies
Stewie: You just watch your mouth mister
• Rating: Unrated
Stewie: Wow, those are the russian people? I mean granted you do think of bears on unicycles when you think of the russian people, but they're all bears on unicycles?
Dan Aykroyd: Bears on unicycles, every single on of them
Chevy Chase: So what do we do now?
Dan Aykroyd: We're undercover US agents in a hostile foreign environment, we just gotta make sure we don't do anything that makes us stick out
Guard: Hey, they're not bears on unicycles! You're under arrest!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 401