Stewie Griffin Quotes
Doctor: Hum, 29 pounds, that's big for your age.
Stewie: Well forgive me for not being one of those anorexic babies from the diaper commercials
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I say, Rupert, this paste is delicious. It's almost worth the bowel obstruction!
- Permalink: I say, Rupert, this paste is delicious. It's almost worth the bo...
Lois: Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different.
Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells
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College Girl: Are you in a fraternity little boy?
Stewie: Not yet but I'm thinking about joining I Felta Thi
- Permalink: Are you in a fraternity little boy? Not yet but I'm thinking a...
Susan Sarandon: Hi, I'm Susan Sarandon. A lot of you know me as Tim Robbins' mother, but I'm actually his girlfriend. And this is Stewie. Stewie: What the deuce?
Susan Sarandon: For less then a ticket price for one of my movies about capital punishment or neo-feminism, you can make sure Stewie never goes hungry again.
Stewie: Yes, and from the look of those sweater cows, so could you
- Permalink: What the deuce? For less then a ticket price for one of my mov...
Lois: Jump in, sweetie! The turtle will protect you!
Stewie: I'm supposed to entrust my life to a turtle?! Nature's "D" student?
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I don't suppose you have any valium on you? Of course not, you're leading the straight life now
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Brian: Well, well, looks like you're in love.
Stewie: Ha! That's so funny I forgot to laugh...excluding that first "ha!"
Brian: Face it, you're a sucker for a woman with blue eyes.
Stewie: Aha! Her eyes are green!
Brian: Aha! Thanks for proving my point.
- Permalink: Well, well, looks like you're in love. Ha! That's so funny I f...
Stewie: You remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where Bobby saved Greg's life and Greg became his slave?
Stewie: Good. It's on tonight. Tape it for me, and put a nice label on it
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Stewie: Go on, hot wire it!
Brian: Hot wire? I don't even pump my own gas.
- Permalink: Go on, hot wire it! Hot wire? I don't even pump my own gas.
Brian [at mom's funeral]: Say something.
Brian: Just say something please.
Stewie: For god's sake. Um... "Yea, and God said on to Abraham, 'You will kill your son Isaac'. And Abraham said, 'I can't hear you, You'll have to speak into the microphone.' And God said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better? Check, Check, Check. Jerry pull the high end out I'm, getting some hiss back here.'"
Brian: Say something about my mother!
Stewie: Oh yes, I'm sorry. I never knew Biscuit as a Dog, but I did know her as a table. She was sturdy, all four legs the same length...
Brian: Thanks. That's enough.
Stewie: Yes. Requiem in Terra Pax, and so forth. Amen
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Brian: Listen kid, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
Stewie: Ugh, you're not coming out of the closet, are you? Why does everyone always come out to me?
- Permalink: Listen kid, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. U...