Stewie Griffin Quotes
You know you've made it when you've got a teenage boss.
Meg, could you zip up your fly? That's kind of wafting over here.
Dammit Brian, you can't die! We were gonna do so many things together! We were gonna become windsurfers! I was gonna be a little better than you, but we were both gonna be good.
How does it feel to be the least-cultured person at a bus station?
Well, looks like Archibald Meatpants is gonna have a fun night.
Look, it's not like we've got a lot to live for. I'm just going to end up like Chris, only I'll be smart enough to realize how miserable I am.
The porn is free but we have to watch it in the lobby.
It says here there's a continental breakfast. Oh...the continent is Africa.
Stewie: I haven't had this much fun since I hosted the Oscars! (cutaway scene starts)
Stewie: Good evening. I just want to say that I have the utmost respect for women everywhere. And also the Jews. Good night.
(Newspaper spins in: "Best Oscars Ever!")
You see that, Brian? That's going to be our penises later, right?
Brian: Oh my god, Stewie, it worked! We're in Vegas!
Stewie: Yeah, alright! Let's go to the hospital, get checked for teleportation cancer, and then party!
Lois: Oh my God! We've been burglarized!
Stewie: Well, we'll just have to get that $17 insurance check and start over.