Stewie Griffin Quotes
It says here there's a continental breakfast. Oh...the continent is Africa.
Stewie: I haven't had this much fun since I hosted the Oscars! (cutaway scene starts)
Stewie: Good evening. I just want to say that I have the utmost respect for women everywhere. And also the Jews. Good night.
(Newspaper spins in: "Best Oscars Ever!")
You see that, Brian? That's going to be our penises later, right?
Brian: Oh my god, Stewie, it worked! We're in Vegas!
Stewie: Yeah, alright! Let's go to the hospital, get checked for teleportation cancer, and then party!
Lois: Oh my God! We've been burglarized!
Stewie: Well, we'll just have to get that $17 insurance check and start over.
Lois: Look, I realize Quahog isn't the small town it used to be, but it's still very special to me. It's my home.
Stewie: Yeah, come on guys, she's got dyed roots in this community.
Lois: An increase in crime? That can't be right. I haven't noticed anything like that.
Stewie: You're in the house 14 hours a day, what would you notice?
[walks in with a leather jacket] Hey guys, what's going on? And no one says anything so they hate it.
Lois: I can't believe Horace's dead.
Stewie: I can't believe we left Brian in the car with the windows up.
Lois: Who threw out my sequined top?
Stewie: You're 43, accept it!
Are you watching porn in the kitchen? Come on man, we eat in here!
Stewie: Brian, I can't find Rupert anywhere! Have you seen him?
Brian: Oh, I thought Lois would've told you. She sent him back to the factory.
Stewie: what, why?
Brian: She was afraid he was going to choke you.
Stewie: That was a game we played! Believe me, I was in control the whole time!