Stewie Griffin Quotes
Brian: I think, I think we're launching!
Lois: Oh my god, everyone strap yourselves in! Stewie, hold my hand.
Stewie: No thanks, I prefer to die giving you the finger.
Peter: If this is what it takes to get out of Florida, fine.
Oh by the way, there's a baby in my preschool with HIV, and my teacher gave you something to sign to get him kicked out.
Meg: I can only imaging what it was like for them on that very first Christmas.
Brian: Yeah, it was probably very moving. And fictional.
Stewie: Jesus lived with us for like a week, what else do you need?
No matter how low I turn the volume, Aziz Ansari is always shouting at me. What did I do?
Brian: Alright, very funny, Stewie. You replaced my Jack Daniel's with flat Diet Coke.
Stewie: No I didn't! And you're noticing this at 8:20 in the morning? What has happened to your life? Do you need to talk?
Stewie: No, that's great, actually because, now anyone walking behind you will know you had 60 dollars.
Peter: Whoa, that is awesome, Lois! Your bum looks like an NBA star's arm! Except it's not paying someone to install a Playstation in a car.
Lois: You guys shouldn't have done this!
Stewie: Hey, any time you can celebrate the end of someone's periods.
Nice throw, Casey Anthony.
Stewie: Ah, look at this, she's taped photographs of Virginia Woolf and Katy Perry on the inside cover, as if she's some sort of hip hybrid of those two things.
Brian: Yeah, like she could ever write "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"
Stewie: "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" was not written by Virginia Woolf.
Brian: Yeah, obviously, but y'know, it's pretty much about her.
Stewie: It really isn't, Brian.
Meg: Oh, he's so cute!
Stewie: Oh my god, we're getting closer to the beginning! You're Lacey Chabert!
I've taken on bigger challenges before. I had to explain to America why Heidi Klum broke up with Seal. [smash cut to Stewie facing the screen against a white background] Face.
What kind of jerk alters time and then falls asleep?