The Janitor Quotes
Ted: What happened to all the cute little squirrels, Flo?
Flashback: Janitor's Garage
Janitor: Let's call this meeting to order. Uh, first things first, I counted the ballots, and, uh, someone voted twice. Interesting. I'm not pointing fingers - Troy.
End Flashback
Janitor: There were never any squirrels.
Janitor: What's that, your new, uh, cool guy walk?
J.D.: No, I have rocks in my shoe.
J.D.'s Narration: Wow, that's a lot of rocks. I gotta stop taking that short-cut through the quarry.
Janitor: Just so you know, I think this chief resident thing has made you a little too big for your britches? Soo... from now on I'm gonna be your britches shrinker.
He cracks his broom over his knee.
J.D.: Oh, what, is that supposed to intimidate me or something?
Janitor: No. I had to do it anyway.
J.D.: What possible reason could you have for breaking your broom in half?
Randall: Thanks, bro.
Janitor: Any other questions? Smart guy?
Janitor: Hey! Hey, someone! Hey! Randall was in the air conditioning vent, and it collapsed on him! Buddy!
Randall(coughing): Co-chief. Co-chief!
Janitor: Hey, you fixed him!
J.D.: What are you doing?
Janitor: Just making it official. Chief. Co-Chief.
J.D.: You can try as hard as you want, that is never gonna stick.
Janitor: Hm.
Resident: Oh! And that's Co-Chief Resident Dorian over there!
J.D.: Dammit! You are quick!
Janitor: Cleaning time! (Bursts into J.D. and Elliot's office) Don't worry I'll go fast. (Starts spraying and cleaning desk, gets some in J.D.'s eye)
J.D.: Awwwww!
Janitor: Sorry, that one got away.
J.D.: It burns!
Janitor: Amonia burns? (To Elliot) Hmm. Write that down.
Turk: (To Dr. Cox) Doctor!
Dr. Cox: (To Turk) Doctor! (To Janitor) Doctor!
Janitor: (To Dr. Cox) Doctor! (To Turk) Doctor!
Turk: (To Janitor) Doctor! (Puts hand out to shake)
Janitor: ...No.
Dr. Cox: What're you still doing here?
Janitor: What you have there is an A21 bulb on a E26 base. Running a hundred watts, putting out about a hundred and thirty volts.
Turk: Get over here, you're helping me.
Dr. Cox: Not so fast, cowboy. You're working with me, tall man.
Janitor: Mmmm, actually, no. If I had the time, maybe, but I've got a room to clean.
Dr. Cox: Holy cow. Do you realize if we could get a tight enough clamp around the bulb and then just-
Janitor: No, no, no, you'll break the thing! Look, here's the thing about lightbulbs, okay? They're structurally weak at the narrow end, but the round end is surprisingly strong.
Turk: So if we could get behind the bulb...
Janitor: I see where you're headed! We go down through the mouth!
Dr. Cox: Your turn's over.
Dr. Cox: All we need to do is thread an angioplasty balloon past the bulb, inflate it...
Dr. Cox/Turk: ...and then pull.
Janitor: ...Pull it. I concur.
Dr. Cox: Turtlehead! You're gonna wanna get a piece of this! Come on.
Turk: Where'd you get the coat?
Janitor: I earned it. Let's get our moment.
Mr. Porter: Thanks for all the hard work, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: Glad to do it. Oh, and, uh, Bart, I think Lyle might be ready for that rough-sex-play talk you had with your other boys.
Dr. Cox: I really need a win, I did. And I finally got one and you, you stole it man!
Turk: I needed one too!
Janitor: Boohoo! Where's my win? Think anyone thanks me for cleaning bathrooms?
Turk: Janitor, the bathrooms are filthy.
Janitor: Well, no one was thanking me so I quit cleaning them.
