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Two-and-a-half-men

Alan: Charlie, wake up! You need to see this.
Charlie: Can I throw up in it?
Alan: No.
Charlie: Well, then I don't need to see it.
Alan: Charlie, do you remember what you did last night?
Charlie: (looks at his tuxedo) Oh, damn it, did I get married?
Alan: Hardly. (shows Charlie the paper)
Charlie: Oh, you just know she's going to find some way to make this my fault.

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Related Quotes:
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