Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Children are God's little way of punishing us for having sex.

Evelyn

Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (13 Votes)
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Related Quotes:
Two and a Half Men Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 7 Quotes, Evelyn Harper Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 8 Episode 7 Quotes

Michelle: You have a wonderful son.
Evelyn: Yes I do. But Charlie and Alan must never learn of him.

Michelle: You eat a lot of fish. Aren't you worried about mercury?
Charlie: Michelle, on the list of things I expect to kill me, mercury poisoning ranks well below liver failure, struck by lightning and heart attack during sex. Guess which one I'm rooting for?

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